One For The Road
by whatsamatta
Summary: Helga takes Arnold on a road trip neither will soon forget. *Rated M for events and language; Sequel to The Turntables* Read, Review, and Spread the word. 18 so I stay safe MA . It. Is. Done.
1. Let's Fly Away

_**Disclaimer: Here's a secret – I still don't own Hey Arnold. Several readers told me that they would enjoy a sequel to my previous story: **_The Turntables_**; so, here it is. Gentle Readers, may I present chapter one of **_One For The Road_**. Please Read, Review, and Spread the Word.**_

HA

The wind was particularly strong today. Freezing pedestrians lost their hats at intersections; while newspapers flew about loosely, the random Good Samaritan trying to catch one. The strategically placed trees along the sidewalk hadn't stood up-right all day, and most of their new leaves had been ripped off. The traffic lights swayed violently with each gust. A few of the smaller people who braved the streets were nearly doubled over in attempts to stay on their feet. A few children _**did**_ fall.

Yes, today the wind was particularly strong.

But Helga was just as strong, and she proved it as she stood outside the boarding house next to the taxi. The taxi that was supposed to take her and Arnold to the airport – ten minutes ago. With a huff, she leaned in to the passenger window with a forced smiled.

"I'm so sorry for the wait. I'm sure he'll be right out." The man created what sounded like a grunt of irritation, but did little else. Helga turned back towards the Boarding House and cupped her hands around her mouth.

"Football Head, hurry up and let's go! The meter's runnin'!" Suddenly, the door swung open and Arnold emerged, a duffle bag slung across his shoulder. Sending her a heart-stopping smile, he shut the door behind him with one hand and used the other to adjust the strap as he made his way down the stoop. Helga just opened her door and slid in, locking it and forcing Arnold to walk all the way around to the other side. She smirked as he shut his door.

"Sorry I'm making us so late. Gerald called, and then Grandpa kept giving me advice."

Helga nodded to the driver, who finally brought the taxi out of park and put it in drive. Turning back to Arnold, a smirk graced her lips as she leaned back.

"Well, at least now I know where you get it from." At her remark, Arnold shot her a confused expression, and she laughed.

"Doi, Football Head, how could you forget? All through our school years you were giving advice – you still do." Admittedly, he blushed.

"Yea, well, it's kinda hard to forget when I have you reminding me on an almost a daily basis." She, too, blushed when he took her hand, but was still able to smirk.

"You know you love it." His blush deepened as he leaned in towards her. His next comment came out as a whisper against her lips.

"Well, now that you mention it."

"Here we are. That'll be twenty seven fifty."

Both teens groaned. Granted, they've only just admitted how they feel yesterday, but they still haven't kissed fully. Every time they try, they're interrupted.

Helga smirked as she leaned over and kissed Arnold's cheek.

"Since you made us late, you get to pay." And with that, she gracefully and swiftly slid out of the backseat, leaving Arnold with a smirking middle-aged Cabby.

"Women, huh? As Gandhi once said 'Women are like hurricanes: They come wet and wild and leave with the house and car'." Arnold could only nod and watch the woman who held his heart so forcefully walk away. Then, the words of the Cabby sunk in, and he turned his head fast enough to give himself whiplash.

"Gandhi never said anything like that."

The older man looked at Arnold through the rearview mirror and shrugged.

"Yeah, well, he should have. Now about the fare . . ." he held out his hand, and Arnold sighed, but pulled out his wallet, and allowed a twenty and a ten to fell into his fingers. Slapping it into the Cabby's open palm, he grabbed his duffle bag and opened the door.

"Hey, what about your change?" the man smiled when he saw the look of frustration on the young man's face.

"Keep it – I don't like change anyway." The man's smile changed to a smirk as he watched Arnold's back retreat into the airport. Putting the money into a small satchel, he laughed quietly and moved into the outgoing lane.

"Ah, boy do I miss the days of raging hormones and denied passes."

HA

As soon as Arnold entered the airport, he began searching for a head of blonde hair and a figure he had planned on fantasizing about for years to come. He found her standing near the baggage check, tapping her foot and watching him expectantly. Smiling at her, he walked quickly and caught her arm when she held it out to him. In unison, they turned and made their way towards the check in.

Once they had checked in, the two had to give their duffle bags to the baggage check. Almost immediately Helga wasn't happy; mostly because as soon as the man checking saw her, he smirked. Quickly, when his back was turned, she took the duffle back from Arnold shoulder, and gave him hers.

"Helga, what're you -" she cut him off with her hand over his mouth.

"The bag checker was checking out more than bags. I wanna give him a run for his money."

Arnold couldn't fight off the smirk that engulfed his face as soon as she removed her hand. He loved her devious side; and anyone who was checking out his girlfriend had to be punished. Wait? Were they boyfriend and girlfriend? After yesterday, there was kind of a rush, and they didn't really cover the topic of 'what comes next' post his confession. Oh well, they could figure that out later.

Meanwhile, this bag checker needed to suffer.

Helga set her duffle bag/carry on down and smiled sadistically as she watched him smirk, and undo the zipper.

His smirked faded at what he sifted through. There was nothing juicy, or even feminine about this bag. A man's razor blade; some large band logo t-shirts; and a small carrier of CDs (which weren't even good). There were some nicer dress shirts, which somewhat made sense, because some women wore those. Boxers. Wait, boxers? And not female boxers, but men's.

Turning his head towards Helga, he saw her sadistic smile, and zipped up the bag as fast as possible, not failing to notice the small stash of condom wrappers his hand briefly touched. He handed her the bag, and she thanked him as he took Arnold's bag in hopes of normalcy.

Oh, if only.

The poor man just about had a heart attack when the first thing he saw was a bra. A yellow and crème bra. With the tag daringly poking out just enough for him to see. 36. C.

Slowly, he lifted his head and looked at Arnold, who smiled and shrugged. As fast as humanly possible, then man zipped the bag back up, and just about threw it at Arnold's head.

"You're all good."

The two nodded, and made their way towards the metal detectors that led to the terminals. After an uneventful pass through the detectors, and a boring sit in the terminal, Helga suddenly became excited and pointed out the window. When he turned to look, Arnold saw the Southwest Airlines plane being taxied down the runway towards their docking bay. They watched the man unload and reload the plane with luggage, then turned their sights on the people shuffling their way off. Jetlag apparent on each and every one of their faces.

They made small talk as the plane boarded everyone in front of them, and then rose when their section of the plane was called. The woman feigned cheerfulness as she took half of their tickets – obvious dark circle under her eyes and a pack of Marlboros next to the phone as she kept checking the clock.

Helga led the way down the aisle of the plane, scanning the words above each seat as she looked for theirs. Finally she stopped at the section of three just behind the wing.

"Here they are: 18 D and E." She handed Arnold her Duffle bag as she shuffled into the seat next to the window. Arnold put the bags in the overhead compartment, and then sat next to her.

Overall, the flight was rather empty; no one sat in 18 F, so they didn't have to worry about a complete stranger next to them. There were a few boys their age in the row next to theirs who kept giving Helga approving glances, but Arnold ceased them when he allowed his right hand to slide along her thigh. She looked at him, but smiled and said nothing.

"The emergency exits are located at the front and back of the plane . . . In case of emergency, the life jackets will . . . . To inflate you pull. . . . To wear the airbags safely . . . . Thank you and enjoy the flight. Drinks and snacks will be provided once the plane has taken off." Helga smirked after the stewardess finished the safety speech and made her way to the back to strap in.

"You know, those life jackets would be very useful, too bad we aren't flying over any bodies of water." The two snickered, and listened as one of the Pilots' voices came over the speakers and told everyone aboard their destination, and expected time of arrival. Two hours from now.

The plane was taxied out of the terminal, and pulled towards an open runway. Helga smiled as she felt her heart begin to race. Every time she flies, she gets this feeling. Like she's on a roller coaster. She and Arnold looked out the window and watched the airport begin to quickly speed by, and suddenly it was moving lower and lower.

Helga gripped Arnold's hand and smiled at him when he looked her way. There was no mistaking the thrill he found in her eyes, nor the smile she received in return. He laced their fingers, and his grip tightened as he felt the plane point upwards. He had never been on a plane before, and was frightened out of his mind; but as he watched her smile at him reassuringly, his mind slowed to only a few coherent thoughts.

He was glad he was sharing this first with her, out of everyone.

And that there were a few other first he'd like to try with her.

HA

So far, the flight was uneventful. They were served soft drinks and little packets of peanuts, and the boys across from them started eyeing Helga once again. Helga was oblivious to the stares, her face buried in a book. They weren't served meals and Arnold was hungry. So hungry that he was about to tell those little shits to 'Fuck. Off.' when the plane jolted.

Helga looked up from her book at the second, much stronger jolt; and the two of them heard the Pilot's voice come on again.

"Sorry folks, but it appears we're gonna have some slight turbulence. Please put your trays and seats in the upright and locked position, and strap yourselves in."

Arnold just about slammed his tray closed and locked, and was grateful he never unbuckled his seatbelt. Helga was much calmer about this, as she carefully put in her bookmark, and swiftly uncrossed her legs. She never had her tray down; she just took drinks from Arnold.

The plane began to bump and shake, causing Arnold to begin hyperventilating. Helga saw this, and took his face in her hands.

"Football Head, hey, Football Head. Arnold!" she nearly shouted before he finally looked at her with fear in his eyes. Helga never wanted to see that look on his face again. Calmly, she spoke into his ear and caressed his cheek.

"Arnold, calm down. Breathe slowly. In. Out. In. Out. Shh, it's alright. Nothing bad is going to happen. Calm down." She kissed his cheek and pulled out, watching his face. His eyes were closed forcefully, but he wasn't as panicked. She smiled as the turbulence died down and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Thanks Helga." She nodded again, and was about to let go when there came another strong bounce. Arnold took hold of her hands in almost a vice grip as he slammed his eyes shut. Helga sighed, and put her forehead to his as she continued to whisper soft and soothing words.

It was gonna be a long flight.


	2. Do You Feel Like I Do?

_**Disclaimer: Belongs to me, Hey Arnold does not. So, here's chapter two; it's kinda a long one, but I didn't want to have too many chapters take place at Helga's Aunt's home. Hope you enjoy. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

Helga smiled and stretched as she walked out of the terminal, Arnold close behind her. Normally, the two hour flight from Hillwood to Phoenix goes by faster than that, but with Arnold on the verge of a nervous break down, she didn't get to read at all. Instead, her focus had been zeroed in on keeping him calm. Turning to look over her shoulder, her smile widened when she made eye contact with the object of her affections.

Arnold, catching her glance, quickened his pace, until he was in step next to her.

"So, where are we headed now?" he wrapped an arm around her waist, and she just about died when his hand brushed her ass before settling on her hip.

"We are going to leave the terminal, and hit baggage claim, where my Aunt Diane will be waiting to get us. We're gonna stay with her for a few days." Arnold nodded with a smile, and watched her as she tucked her blonde hair behind an ear. He couldn't help himself, and leaned in to kiss her neck. She moaned when his lips made contact, but didn't stop walking. The feeling of her skin caressing his mouth had Arnold suppressing a shiver of excitement.

"God, Helga, your skin feels amazing." He whispered against her neck, and she nearly moaned again, before pulling away from him.

"Hm, well, maybe if you're good you'll get to feel more." Before he had a chance to reply, she took off running towards the rotating baggage stop.

"Diane!" she shouted, and embraced an older looking woman with shoulder length gray hair. The woman held her in a tight grip, then loosened to pull back and look the girl over.

"Oh, Helga, look how you've grown! OH! Your hair! You chopped it off!" Diane gasped as she ran her fingers through Helga's short hair, marveling at how much had changed.

"Diane, calm down. It's only been a couple of months since I was here last."

With a fast walk, Arnold made quick progress of the distance between the two women and himself. Within moments, he was standing next to Helga, giving the older woman a sheepish smile. His hold on his duffle bag unwavering.

"Hey, Diane, this is Arnold. I dragged him along so I wouldn't be alone in my drive back." Diane raised a finely shaped eyebrow, giving Arnold a once over, but said nothing more on the subject.

"Hello Arnold, I'm Diane Pataki." Diane introduced, holding out her hand.

She would grill Helga on the topic of Arnold later.

"Arnold -" Suddenly, a woman with a nasally voice came over the intercom, announcing flights that had just arrived.

"Hm, that's an unusual last name, but sounds excellently bred. Well, come on, I've got the car park in a 'No-Parking Zone' and I want to get back before I get a ticket." She dropped his hand after shaking it, and led the two teens down one of the many hallways.

A few minutes later, the three were standing in the 'Loading and Unloading Only' zone, looking at a 1969 orange Chevrolet Chevelle. Instead of gawking, Diane simply pulled out her car keys, and nearly ran to the driver's side to unlock it and allow the engine to purr with life. Helga turned to Arnold, a casual shrug of her shoulders but a smirk on her face. Opening the passenger door, she flipped the seat back and motioned for him to slide in. As soon as his legs were behind the front seat, Helga snapped the seat up, and flopped into the car with grace. With the door shut, the two women nodded to each other, and Diane took off like a bat out of hell.

Suddenly, Arnold feared for his life.

HA

_Oh God I'm gonna die oh God I'm gonna die oh God I'm gonna die oh Go –_

"Arnold! You alright back there Football Head?" Arnold didn't want to open his eyes to look at Helga, afraid that if he should, he'll see the world going by in a way it shouldn't and throw up. And that Helga would see his fear.

He hoped Helga didn't drive like Aunt Diane did.

With every corner they hit, Arnold would slide this way and that; even if he did have his seatbelt on. Certain that the four packets of peanuts and can of generic cola were about to make a comeback, he focused on breathing slowly and deeply. In his nose, out his mouth. In his nose, out his mouth. He tried to let the soothing sounds of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon enter his ears and distract him from the crazy old woman making every illegal driving move in the book.

Suddenly, there was a soft hand on his cheek, coaxing his eyes to open. He was reluctant at first, but when the fingers started to caress his cheeks in a more suggestive manner, he allowed his disinclination to crack. And he instantly regretted it.

"Oh man, Football Head, you look awful. Must be jetlag, mixed with Diane's psychotic driving." Vaguely, he registered Helga's laugh and Diane's scoff of mock insult.

"Well, I never! And here I let you retreat to my house, use my kitchen, and teach you everything I know! Some niece _**you**_ are." Helga laughed again, and Arnold felt her lips by his ear.

"Everything she knows about cooking, filming, and cars. I taught myself to drive."

It was when she kissed his cheek and told him not to worry because they were almost to her Aunt's house, that his closed eyes and imagination gave him something to think on. He saw with his 'third eye' Helga in the kitchen, dancing to some unimportant song on a CD, while cooking a mouth-watering dish. He swore his heart skipped a beat or two as he watched with perfect clarity how she moved about the room, adding this and that, shaking her hips, smiling, occasionally singing along.

The image dispersed when he allowed his eyes to open as the car slowly pulled into a driveway of a house that had a Kokopelli man over the garage. That, of course, was the only thing that set _this_ house apart from every other house on the block. As soon as Diane put the car in park, Helga had removed herself from the car and was helping Arnold out of the backseat.

"Hey, the same thing happened to me the first time I flew here, and Diane picked me up from the airport. What I find really helps is going into the bathroom and washing my face with cold water. Come on, I'll take you to the bathroom." Arnold nodded, and followed her into the house as he tried to settle his stomach. She led him through the front door, down a small hallway, and straight into a room on the right. As soon as she flipped on the light, he found himself staring into a mirror over a nice, clean sink made of porcelain. With a kiss to his temple, she took his duffle bag from his shoulder and left him.

He smiled at where she once stood, as if she were still there, and turned the cold water on. Letting it run for a bit, he allowed his mind to wander.

_Wow, Helga sure has a maternal side; how come we hardly ever see it? I knew, just __**knew**__ there was a softer part to her . . . Well, now that we're here, there really __**is**__ no running away for her, us. We really need to talk about what we are now, seeing as we didn't earlier. Hm, I wonder what she's thinking right now . . ._

Deciding he let the water go for long enough, he cupped his hands and let the cool liquid pool into his self-made basin. Bringing it up o his face, he bent over the sink and let the crisp water make contact, already feeling a bit better.

HA

While Arnold was washing away the residual jetlag, Helga had gone into the kitchen to find something to make for food. She would have succeeded, too, had not her Aunt cornered her the second her foot touched the stone flooring.

"So, Helga, usually when you come for a visit, you bring Phoebe, Lauren, or Lauren and Jude." Diane leaned against the counter space between the stainless steel fridge and the stainless steel stove.

"Yeah, and your point is . . . what?" Helga made the continuation sign with her hands as she adopted the same stance as the older woman across from her; her back to the sink.

"My point is . . . Tell me about you and Arnold. What's your relationship now?" Helga smirked. Her Aunt never was one who beat around the bush with eloquence. Her smirked faded, though, when she thought of what the answer to the question was. With a sigh, she turned and looked out the window over the sink, gazing at the decent-sized pool and the garden surrounding it.

"The truth is; I don't know what our relationship. Is mean, he knows how I have loved and do love him; and yesterday he told me he loved me in such a way that if I didn't know any better, would've sworn it was scripted." Diane nodded, although Helga couldn't see, and crossed her arms to get comfortable. She sensed a psychology lesson ahead.

"So, what's the problem then? You love him, and he loves you." Helga leaned forward a bit, as if to gain moral support from the edges of the sink, then turned to face her elder with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Would you believe me if I said I think it's too good to be true? I mean, he had been in love with Lila since fourth grade; and suddenly, within a few weeks, he completely shifts gears and loves me?"

"Well, you've loved him since that first moment he helped you, so it can't be the short time, can it?"

"That's different. Sure, I loved him since I first saw him, but I haven't loved anyone else like I do him. He's gone from Ruth, to Cecile, to Lila, and who knows who else that he _**hasn't**_ told me. So please, forgive my skepticism when I say I don't know if this is going to be different." Helga had that pained smirk on her face; the one she wears when she confident she's right, but hopes she's wrong. Diane gave her a comfort smile, and turned to the fridge.

"Well, would you like to hear my advice?" She asked as she pointed to the cupboard above the stove, which Helga opened and pulled out an old cook book. The older woman then opened the fridge, and began pulling out ingredients for a pie.

"Only always." Helga smirked as she started taking the dry, warm supplies needed to bake.

"I think you need to let go of your trepidations, and just try a relationship with him. He's cute, and don't think I didn't see that mouth-to-neck action in the airport. And if the relationship doesn't work, then it doesn't work but at least you tried it. And if it _**does**_ work, I fully expect an invitation to your wedding, and I want the first baby named after me, in honor of my wonderful advice." Helga smiled and opened her mouth to retort, but Diane cut her off.

"Yes, even if it's a boy."

The kitchen was quiet for a few minutes, before the two women burst into a fit of laughter. Helga bumped hips with her Aunt, then looked from the cook book, to all the stuff on the island that served as a divider between the kitchen and the living room.

"So, what are we making?" she asked, as she watched Diane flip to a page, then begin to leave the kitchen.

"_**You**_ are going to make Rhubarb Country Cake, while _**I**_ am going to go prepare the house for those little shits you can friends that just _**happen**_ to live on my street and continually watch for your arrival."

Helga smiled as she turned her back on the entrance to the room, and set the oven for 350 degrees. As she started chopping the rhubarb, she felt a pair of very strong; _very familiar_ arms encase her mid section, and a pair of lips on her neck.

"Your Aunt has a lot of camera equipment." Arnold murmured against her skin, and she smiled, trying not to let him distract her.

"Yes, she does, huh? Could that be because she a film maker? Hm, getting frisky, now, are we?" Helga laughed as Arnold ignored her, and leaned into her until his pelvis was hard-pressed against her ass. His hands, meanwhile, had worked their way so one was moving her hair way from her neck, and the other was lightly groping a breast.

All the while, Arnold hadn't noticed anything but the feel of her skin under his mouth.

Helga moaned and pushed back against him, gyrating against Arnold's now very present and very noticeable arousal, making him go nearly cross-eyed. Just when things were about to progress to a much wanted level, the front door was heard slamming shut, and many pairs of feet hurried towards the kitchen.

"MAMMA! WE'RE HOME!" A baritone voice shouted, and the two in the kitchen separated. Arnold dived to a glass of water, and Helga returned to chopping the rhubarb.

Not a moment too soon, because it was then that three men their age stood in the entry way, watching the two in the kitchen with interest. All was quiet for a moment, until Helga look up, and smiled at them.

"Hey, boys."

There was a sudden rush, and Helga was quickly enveloped in a hugged with the three of them, making Arnold jealous, although he knew he shouldn't be. But they were eighteen year old men, hugging an eighteen year old woman. There were bound to be some wandering hands.

_Much like my own . . ._

Arnold blushed at his thought, and turned to watch the scene before him.

Helga had removed herself from their grasp, and now the three of them were sitting at the island, watching Helga. Their hands were all clasped casually in front of them, and they were smirking in such a way that Arnold didn't know whether to laugh or run. Lucky for him, Helga could read those smirks, and decided to introduce them, before they introduced themselves.

She had let that happen once with Phoebe, and the poor woman _**still**_ didn't fully trust them.

"Arnold, this is Izzy," the one on the end with a small afro and tanned skin gave a wide smile; "David," the middle one with a clean cut hairstyle and the beginnings of a soul patch raised his eyes brows and nodded; "And Anton." The last guy had blonde hair slicked back, a black beret cap with a power fist patch covering the logo. He smiled and did a small salute.

"Guys, this is Arnold, my boyfriend." At his name, all the guys leaned forward towards her, and when she introduced him as he lover, they all whooped for joy. And although he didn't show it, Arnold was the happiest of all.

"YAY! Helga finally got the guy!" David stood up and danced around with Anton, while Izzy leaned in towards Helga.

"Hey, Mamma, what can you tell me about my Demeter?" Helga smiled and pulled out a small note from her pocket and handed it to him. Arnold, now intrigued, looked over Helga's shoulder, while David and Anton stopped their dance and did the same with Izzy.

Izzy just smiled as he looked up.

"It's her cell phone number! Alright! I'm gonna go call her right now!" and with that, he ran out of the room, only to run back in and shake Arnold's hand vigorously, kiss Helga on the cheek, and run back out.

"Well, I better go tell Sam Helga finally got her squeeze toy. She'll be so happy, she'll probably kiss me." Anton smirked, then nodded to Arnold, and kissed Helga on the forehead. Then he, too, left the house.

David just stood there for a few seconds, watching Arnold and Helga watch him, before he smiled.

"Well, I don't have anyone to tell, but I could smell the wanton lust in this room the moment I stepped in here. So, rather than prolong the awkward, I think I'll just, leave. Congrats girlie." He kissed the cheek Izzy didn't, and shook Arnold's hand with a friendly manner.

"Good luck man, and I mean _**good luck**_. I know _**I**_ wouldn't want to date Helga." Helga just gaped, then kicked him as he laughed, and ran out of the house. The last thing he wanted was to resurrect Ol' Betsy and the Five Avengers. Again.

Arnold, still jetlagged and completely confused as to what just happened, groaned and rested his head between Helga's shoulder blades. She smiled, and turned to embrace him.

"Hey, still jetlagged? Hm, I guess the best thing right now is just to sleep. Here, give me a second, and show you to our room." Arnold nodded, and watched as his girlfriend shuffle over towards a side draw, and take out a pen and paper.

Hm, his girlfriend. Helga, his girlfriend. He liked the feeling that gave him.

After jotting down a quick note, she took his hand and led him towards a rather plain looking room.

The two kicked off their shoes, and Helga lay on her back, while Arnold rested between her legs with his head resting on her chest.

"So, tell me about the boys." He was whispering, although he didn't know why. He felt Helga chuckle, and her fingers begin to weave through his hair, massaging his scalp.

"Jealous, are we? Don't worry, Izzy and Nadine kinda have this thing going – it was her number I just gave him; Anton is dating this crazy character, Sam, who gives Curly a run for his money; and David is gay. You have nothing to worry about."

Arnold nodded, and before he knew it, he was asleep, Helga following soon after.

HA

Diane had just come back in from plugging in Johnny 5, the automatic pool vacuum, when she noticed all the ingredients out for making a rhubarb pie. But there was no Helga, Arnold, miscreants Helga called friends, and there certainly was no pie.

"Now what in the world?" She muttered to no one in particular, when she spotted the note placed on an upturned bowl.

_-Diane,_

_I know I didn't finish the pie. Sorry, Arnold was jetlagged and jealous (never a good combo) and so I figured we needed a nap. No, the boys went home, but I can guarantee that they will be back, with Sam in tow – probably in time for dinner as they are so prone to do. Sorry about the pie again._

_-Helga._

Diane smiled as she read the elegant script, and set the note back down, wandering over to the room Helga always uses when she visits. Her smiled faded as soon as she saw the position they were in, but dismissed it quickly when she found they both had their clothes on, were asleep, and were still on top of the covers.

Gently shutting the door, she smiled again, and returned to the kitchen to finish the pie Helga had barely started, remembering what the bottom of the note said.

_P.S. You were right about going with it._

HA


	3. Kama What Now?

_**Disclaimer: YAY! SMUT CHAPTER!! Right, Hey Arnold does not belong to me. Now then, I hope you enjoy this sex filled chapter. And if you're good, I'll give you a few more. If you don't like sex chapters, all I can really say is: don't read it. I won't mind if you skip it. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

The first thing Arnold noticed was that Helga was gone. The second thing he noticed was one of the most amazing aromas he had ever smelled was caressing his nose. Heaving himself up, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and followed the scent out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

Helga and Diane were both wearing swimsuits, dancing around to _Tomorrow Never Knows_ by the Beatles, and cooking what now appeared to be some Italian dish. Seeing him up, Helga danced over to him, a spoon covered in white sauce in her hand.

"Hey Football Head, sleep well? Hope you like Italian." She smirked and lightly pecked him on the lips. After breaking contact, she turned to go back to cooking, when Arnold grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. Lips hot and hungry, he placed a searing kiss on her lips, opening her mouth and allowing them to experience their first deep kiss with each other. Her tongue massaged the underside of his own, and he found himself shuddering at the feel of someone else in his mouth. What a great feeling.

Deciding he wanted to try more, he began a sort of tongue war with her, seeing who could keep their tongue on top. To spice up the challenge, he let his hand slide down and grope her ass, amazed at the feeling of Helga's moan traveling through her mouth and into his. He had always heard that when the tongues duel, usually the man comes out dominant, so imagine his surprise when Helga's tongue was victorious again and again and again.

_It must be because of her quick wit and 'sharp tongue'. Heh. Well, I'm enjoying it._

They finally broke apart when Diane threw a small plastic measuring cup at them, hitting Helga in the back.

"OW! What was that for?!" Helga turned sharply to see her Aunt smirking.

"If you two are going to be all over each other, get in the pool. It'll cool you off, and I'll be able to cook." Helga smiled and led Arnold to the sliding glass door that opened to the back patio.

"She's just pissed I can suck face and she can't." The two laughed as Helga dodged another flying cooking utensil, before easing the door shut, deeming them safe. It was then, with the sun beginning to set, that Arnold took a look at Helga. She was wearing a white skirt bottom and yellow halter-top as her swimsuit.

"Hey Helga, I don't have my suit on." She smirked, and winked at him.

"That's ok, Football Head, I know you're wearing boxers." To emphasize her point, Helga hooked her finger in the top of his jeans. Arnold visibly shivered, then smirked, leaning in to touch as he bent over to capture her lips with his. A few teasing kisses later –with Helga as the tormentor – she broke away from him and winked, before turning and shallow-diving into the water.

Quickly following her lead, Arnold nearly ripped his shirt off and clumsily unzipped his jeans. One of his socks went off with his pants as his feet got tangled in his haste, and the other one was chucked somewhere in a bush as he stumbled and fell sideways into the pool.

Warm. That fact caught him off guard. The water was like bathwater, not cool like an outdoor pool should be, especially when he could see no obvious heater. When he surfaced and wiped the hair from his face that threatened to smoother him, he found Helga leaning against the side, basking in the last rays of sun. Swimming over to her, he wrapped one arm around her waist while the other he used to tread water.

"Why is the water so warm?" he asked as he looked around. Yup, just as he thought, no heater.

"The pool is made from a certain stone I can't remember the name of. It acts as a natural filter to the still-standing water, and absorbs the sun's heat, keeping the pool warm all the time. And before you ask, the little dude over in the corner, sucking up random crap that falls in here is Johnny 5." Arnold raised an eyebrow at the name, while she just shrugged, then moved to kissing him as she let her hands roam.

And roam, they did.

One hand moved up to his hair; while the other snuck down his chest, then around his back, before dipping into his boxers. She gave him a good squeeze before sliding her hand around his hip, and gripped his penis. Arnold moaned at her enthusiasm as she pumped twice, then pulsed her hand from the base to the head. She repeated the process a few times, before she, too, moaned.

Apparently, Helga wasn't the only one who could let their hands go free.

While she was busy giving him the best hand job of his life so far, Arnold guided her to the steps leading into the water. Finding purchase for his feet, he was able to free the hand that was treading, and he put that freedom to good use. With zero detours, his hand slipped into her suit bottoms, and fondled her vulva. Her smooth, soft, shaved vulva. With a delicacy he thought only she could possess, he slid one single finger past her nether lips, and into her vagina, delighting in her moan of pleasure.

His reward was to be pumped at a faster pace as he moved his lips from her mouth to her neck so he could breathe.

He nearly climaxed in her hand when she moaned into his ear, and then _licked_, yes, _**licked**_, the inner shell of his ear, before biting his earlobe. She felt his violent shudder, and suddenly let go her vise of his cock, and put her hands on his shoulders, stilling his movements as well.

"We gotta cool it, Football Head. Not that I want to, but come on. My Aunt is _**right there**_ in the _**kitchen**_. If she caught me having sex in her pool, she would make fun us for an eternity. We would _**never**_ live it down." Arnold couldn't find his voice after being denied his orgasm like that, so he simply nodded. Helga gave him a kiss for his answer, then leaned into his ear again as he removed his hand from her swim suit.

"Don't worry, Football Head; we'll _**definitely **_get to that before this road trip is over." Arnold shuddered hard at her words, and was about to reply, when the sliding glass door opened, and four pairs of bodies took a running start and slapped into the water in full-force canon balls.

HA

Helga was content. No, that word was too soft, too, _easy_ for what Helga truly felt. She felt at peace, she felt happy. He friends that she'd met and made in Arizona that first time she'd visited her Aunt's had gotten along with her friends from back home. She already knew that Izzy, David, Anton and Sam had made fast-friends with Phoebe, Lauren, Jude, and on that one strange weekend, Nadine; but it was Arnold she was worried about.

Like she had told Phoebe, she had also told her friends here about her love/hate/love relationship with Arnold, and his love/like relationship with every other female they knew besides her and Phoebe. She had heard them talk about how if they ever met him, they would slap him senseless – or sense-_**full**_ as they claimed it was – then tell him to make a move on Helga, and for a while she thought they were serious. But now that the six of them were floating in the water, in the dark, with those lame foam water noodles, it was as if they had all known and been best friends with each other for years.

She smiled at how silly she had been in thinking anything bad would happen.

"So, Arnold, how long have you and Helga been doin' the nasty?" David asked. Helga groaned.

_So much for that hope._

"Um, since yesterday." Arnold smiled, thinking all was well in the world. Boy was _**he**_ naïve. Helga was already preparing herself for the forehead smack she was going to give herself as soon as the four arrived at their point.

"So, she hasn't whipped out her Kama Sutra book yet then, huh?" Sam casually dropped the name of the book Helga carried around with her at all times.

The sound of Helga smacking her forehead resonated throughout the back yard.

Arnold turned to look at Helga, a smile masking his surprise as he slowly rotated his noodle.

"No, she hasn't yet." He smirked, and Helga was finding that she didn't like this game. You know, the one where everyone gangs up on you, usually poking fun at some fact that they uncovered about you. Yeah, that one.

"Oh, way to go and spoil the surprise, guys. Thanks." She glared at each and every one of them as punctuation to her statement. Catching the hint, Arnold rotated again to interrogate his newly formed friends.

"So, how long have you guys known Helga?" David and Izzy looked around, then sent a glance to Helga, before looking back at Anton, who smiled.

"We've known her since she came to visit Diane back in like, what, fourth grade? Fifth grade? Well, anyway, we were playing street hockey, and she was making fun of us. So, naturally, us being boys and Sam being, well, Sam, we taunted right back. She smiled, said we were alright, and we've all been good friends ever since." After he wrapped up his mini-speech, Anton looked around to see if anyone had anything else to contribute.

"She brought Phoebe a couple of times, but I think we kind of scared her." David added on casually as he stole Izzy's noodle, who, after the sudden loss of his floatation device, slipped under the water with massive amounts of splashing.

"That's because you guys told her you were my drug-addict harem, and would be willing to get her acid for a cheap price!" Helga retorted, as she took the noodle from David's grasp, and gave it back Izzy once he resurfaced. At her remark, the four had the decency to look guilty, but it quickly faded to humor.

"True. It seems that the only other ones besides you and Helga who tolerate us are Lauren and Jude." Izzy mentioned to Arnold.

"Yeah, and _Nadine_." David said in a breathy voice as he, Anton and Sam swooned. Arnold and Helga laughed as Izzy turned ant started splashing the hell out of the three.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, how did Nadine end up here? I mean, I know she's our friend and all, but you guys aren't so close that you would ask her to come with you to your Aunt's house." Arnold asked as he pulled Helga onto his noodle, and held her in an embrace.

"Well, it turns out her grandparents live a few blocks away from here. We ran into each other at the airport one weekend during this past summer when we were both visiting. I asked if she wanted to chill with us, and the next thing _**any**_ of us know, she and Casanova over here are sucking face. So what do I do? Like the _**amazing**_ friend I am, I become the little courier pigeon between the two. But now that you guys swapped digits, I can put my wings into retirement." Helga smirked, and everyone laughed, before Diane slid the door open and called the group in for dinner.

HA

After an interesting dinner, in which a group effort was made in distracting Anton so everyone could steal food from his plate, Diane stood and addressed the table.

"Well, I'm going to bed. I don't mind if you guys want to sleep here – God knows my opinion of it never stopped you before – I just don't want to wake up to the smoke alarm, a broken shower door, or zero food in my fridge again. Goodnight."

"Night." Was the collective response from the six eighteen year olds who were still stuffing their faces. As soon as her footsteps faded, and her door shut, Izzy, Anton, Sam, and David all turned their heads towards the new couple. Slowly, the four stood, and made their way towards the door.

"Well, we hate to eat and run." Izzy began as he meandered around the chairs.

"It's what you do." Helga quipped in return, to which Izzy kissed her head and rushed out the door.

"Yeah, love to stay and chat some more, but you know, I need to go . . . shit, go . . . go, check, my, email . . . yeah! That's it, check my email, I have to check my email. Thanks for the food! Love you miss you, great to meet you Arnold, but I have to go check my email!" David nearly shouted as he ran from the kitchen. Anton and Sam smirked, as they too, stood and kissed Helga on the cheek; Sam kissed Arnold's cheek as well.

"Hn, well, I'm not going to lie – I need to go and reorganize my collection of Marvel Comics. Bye guys." And with that, Anton left, leaving just Sam standing there, watching them. Once she heard the door close, her smile turned to a sadistic smirk.

"You know as well as I do that they were all lying. They just wanted to escape the over-powering scent of lust – yes, we knew you two were playing footsy all through dinner and we knew what you what were doing in the pool. But I will tell you the truth. David, Izzy, and Anton are going to sneak around back, and hide under your window and listen to you guys have sex in like, ten minutes. I'll be able to lure Anton away with the promise of action, but good luck with the others. Oh, and have fun tonight." She smirked at the blush on their faces, before sauntering out of the room.

After a few minutes of silence, Helga stood and gathered the dishes, bringing them over to the sink. Arnold stood and began packing the leftovers into containers, and putting them in the fridge. They didn't talk as they worked, except when Arnold went to the sink, and rinsed and dried the dishes Helga had washed. She smiled at him as she handed each plate over, before pointing to where they belonged.

Once the kitchen had been cleaned, the two turned to each other, before they were suddenly in each other's arms. Arnold had begun trying to untie her swimsuit top, while her hands dived into the front of his boxers. She began walking backwards, towards their room as he let out a frustrated growl. Without warning, Helga disentangled herself from his arms, and rushed over to a wall, where she opened a small panel, and flipped a switch.

He heard the sprinklers kick on, and was confused until he heard two men groan and run from the front lawn. Helga smirked, and Arnold grinned, before charging towards her, taking her in his arms, and carrying her into their room.

With the door shut securely, Arnold gave up on trying to untie her top, and just pulled it up over her head. A moan emerged from deep in her throat when his mouth latched onto her chest. At her sound of pleasure, he brought them both on the bed, with her beneath him.

"Heyy, Football Head, wha-wait." Arnold paused and looked down at her, panting heavily and slightly frustrated. Seeing his look, Helga smirked.

"I don't want it missionary. Sit up." Arnold was excited all over again, and eagerly did as she asked. As he moved, she slipped from beneath him, and had him sit on the edge of the bed. She then stood in front of him, and made a small strip tease out of taking off her swim suit bottoms. Arnold was almost painfully hard now, and Helga noticed.

Getting onto her knees, she rested in front of him, and began sliding of his boxers. he bit back a groan – who wouldn't? There was a breathtakingly beautiful woman at his feet, _**naked**_, working on getting him _**naked**_. Arnold lifted up his hips to help her, and she slid them down his legs, before throwing them in the direction she was vaguely aware their duffle bags were.

And then, she made him cry.

Or almost. Helga leaned forward, and gave Arnold a tentative lick from base to tip. She had never given head; hell, she had never _**had sex**_ apart from masturbating with the vibrator Lauren had bought Helga for her eighteenth birthday, aptly named 'Captain OH'. But she _**did **_carry a fully illustrated copy of Kama Sutra where ever she went, and she had done her research.

But practicing on resembling vegetables and the real thing are _**very**_ different.

Since she was still considered a novice, Helga resigned to only licking his penis, before she moved away from him. Slowly Arnold opened his eyes, and watched as she sauntered to his duffle bag and riffle through it before she returned with a condom wrapper. He blushed, realizing what Helga had found.

"Helga, it's not what it -" he was about to give the age-old excuse, when she silenced him with a kiss. He heard the foil ripping, and felt her warm hands encase him again.

"Calm down, Football Head. I brought the Kama Sutra, and you brought the condoms. We were both thinking it." she smirked, and Arnold pulled away, looking down at his now rubber-covered cock. He knew what this meant: they were really going to do it.

"Helga, what about your Aunt?" she was above him, her hands on his shoulders and his on her hips. She straddled him, and Arnold could feel the heat of her entrance, and moaned.

"She takes sleeping pills; once she goes into her room, she's like the dead until morning."

Arnold could only nod, and lifted his hips up as she let herself slowly impale herself on him. He didn't feel her tear around him, but she was so damn tight, he was already panting and holding back the orgasm she denied him earlier.

He wanted to go slow because he thought that's what she wanted, but when Helga began a quick, hard pace of up and down, he didn't hold back. He thrust up into her harshly, and she whimpered, but only met his style ten fold. It wasn't long before he felt it happening so strongly, he couldn't hold it off. He feverishly kissed and sucked her neck, tasting the layer of sweat that he helped create.

And when she leaned forward, and bit his earlobe, he lost it. He let one hand trace softly down her spine, and when she shuddered, he thrust violently into her twice, and climaxed. When she felt his hand, so opposite of how they were playing, she screamed as her orgasm hit her full force, letting go of his earlobe in the process.

Completely worn out, Arnold fell backwards, Helga falling with him, so she was resting comfortably on his chest. Reaching up, he softly caressed her back as she cradled his cheek in her palm. When he looked down at her, she kissed him as softly as his caresses.

"Arnold, was this your first time?" he blushed a bright red, but smiled and nodded. She smiled warmly, before resting her head on his chest with a sigh.

"Yeah, mine too." Arnold gasped, and looked down at the blonde. She was a virgin? But how did he not feel her virginity tear? She laughed faintly.

"It's called masturbation, Football Head. I broke my hymen the third time I tried it and haven't looked back since." So, she was funny, intelligent, _**amazing**_ in bed, always good for a surprise, and now a mind reader. It was official; Helga G Pataki was a Goddess.

"Well, this was the best first we've had so far." He smirked when he felt her chuckle, then start stroking his chest. She seemed particularly interested in his nipple.

"So, Helga, you said you brought Kama Sutra?" Arnold hinted, gasping at that feeling of her kissing the skin near his now pebbled nipple.

"Yup. If you enjoyed this, I think you're really gonna enjoy the rest of the trip. Oh, and just to let you know Football Head, I'm a bit of a sadomasochist." He laughed.

Or at least, he would have laughed, had not a moan come out instead when she took his nipple into her mouth.

HA


	4. At Last We Meet

_**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Hey Arnold. I know it took me a bit, but hey, it's here now, right? Read, Review, and Spread the Word.**_

HA

It was already almost ninety degrees out, and it was only 7 am. Amazed at the temperature, Arnold could surmise that it wasn't the wet, humid heat like back home. This was dry, and only felt like seventy; and was therefore was bearable. So it's no wonder that a ninety degree 7 am found Arnold, Helga, and Diane sitting around the pool, drinking their coffee and filling the morning air with idle, post-sleep chatter.

"So, Helga, you're going to meet you're car today, aren't you?" Diane casually offered as she flipped through the paper in search of the political opinions. Helga nodded, not caring that her Aunt wasn't even looking at her as she allowed her face to disappear in her coffee mug. Observing the art in her hand, Arnold couldn't help but smile: It was a 14 oz mug in style of the Beatles 1969 animated movie _Yellow Submarine_ – complete with Fab Four on one side and the message 'ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE' on the other. Aunt Diane's mug was also a 14 oz-er, but was white with pastel-colored flowers hand painted on.

Taking a look at his own mug, Arnold came to two conclusions. One, these women had a _serious_ love of the Beatles; and Two, they gypped him out of 3-ozs of coffee. Unlike his companions, his mug was a regular 11-oz, and although it was small, was cool nonetheless. It was a light purple with _The_ _Beatles Yellow Submarine_ logo on the side, and the character Jeremy on the handle, actually _sticking out of_ it. Overall it was rather cute, and Arnold had a hard time disliking it, no matter how unmanly it was.

_Why am I looking at the mugs?_ He asked himself suddenly, and could only shrug in response and blame the early morning heat. He noticed Helga watching him suspiciously over the top of her coffee, and smiled less than convincingly. She shook her head with a smile, and leaned over to kiss him softly on the cheek. Arnold would have turned and made her kiss him more, when a loud sound suddenly forced them apart.

"_IT'S JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT! AND THEN A STEP TO THE RIGHT! WITH YOUR HANDS ON YOU HIPS AND BRING YOUR KNEES IN TIGHT! BUT IT'S THE PELVIC THRUST THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSANE! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!" _Helga sent a quick look around, before her eyes caught the sight of something orange vibrating dangerously close to the edge of the patio glass table. Hopping up, she set her coffee down by the edge of the pool and bolted towards it before it fell. Again.

"_IT'S JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT! AND THEN A STEP TO THE RIGHT! WITH YOUR HANDS ON YOU HIPS AND –" _

"Hello? Oh, hey Phoebs. Yup, we made it here alri – wait. Why are you calling so early? Phoebe, it's seven here, meaning it's _six_ there! Why are you awa – oh, well, that makes sense. So, what was so important that you had to call me at six in the morning? Ah-huh. Ah-_huh_. Oh _**really**_. I had no idea Princess had it in her, or was that _**kinky**_. I assume everyone there knows, yea? Man that's funny. What? Oh, yea, we're gonna pick her up today, and then drive her home. Ah-huh, yes, we will be there in time. _No_, we won't miss any school. _**Phoebe!!**_ I should be the one worried about _**you**_! _**NO, I WILL NOT GET PREGNANT**_, thank you very much. Yea yea, love you too. Alright, talk to you later. Ah-huh, bye." She let out a huff of frustration as she hung-up the phone, and turned to Arnold. He had only heard Helga's half, but even that was enough to make him blush a bright pink. The look on his face said it all.

"Yes, that was Phoebe. Yes, she knew it was six at home. No, I will not tell you why she was up. Yes, she gave me the newest gossip from home. Yes, I will tell you. Yes, she asked about our plans. No, I will not tell you everything she told me. No, I will not share everything she asked me. How's your coffee?" she smiled as she sat down next to him. While Arnold was getting his thoughts back in order, Helga just about tried to drown herself in her coffee.

Diane, meanwhile, had observed the whole transaction, and was about to die from laughter. Who knew that little Japanese woman her niece befriended could cause that much damage without even being present? With a smirk that modeled Helga's, she stood, and mentioned something about breakfast before meandering back into the house, empty mug in hand.

"So, what was this big scandal with Rhonda?" Arnold finally managed to articulate. After seeing her reaction to what Phoebe said about pregnancy, he figure that was a topic he had _no intention_ of asking about. He watched as Helga lifted herself from her drink, a smirk dancing on her lips as she sighed in happiness.

"Apparently, she and Curly were doing the same thing you and I were last night, with one exception: they got caught."

Arnold choked on his coffee as Helga laughed and hit his back, helping him clear his windpipe.

"Wha-what?!" She laughed again at his question.

"Yup, at least it wasn't her parents that caught them, it was his. That's what I like about that kid; once you get to know him, he and his folks are pretty cool. Well, the four of them decided that as long as they knew what they were doing, and using all the protection available just shy of drastic, they could continue. No one would tell her 'rents, and it they needed a safe place to go at it, the Gammelthorpe's home was always open."

Arnold was shocked. How had _**that**_ happened? It seemed like just a few days ago Rhonda was avoiding Curly like the plague, and now the two were going at it?

"Alright, I have two questions." Arnold leaned back, staring at the pool while Helga watched him.

"Shoot."

"One: I thought Rhonda hated Curly. Or was at least greatly disturbed by him." He turned to make eye contact, as if to further his point, and was stunned to see another smirk on her lips.

"Well, technically, Football Head, that was a statement, not a question. But I suppose I can humor you anyways. What you thought was all a rouse. Rhonda and Curly have been going out for a couple of months now, ever since they had to work together on that pig dissection in Striby's class. Remember how she fainted, and he took her to the nurse? Yup, well, they talked, bonded, and _**bam!**_ They're dating."

Arnold nodded his understanding, but didn't slow down his thought process.

"So, how do _**you**_ know all this? I mean, you and Rhonda were never close friends." Again, she smirked, and Arnold was beginning to feel mind-numb in her presence.

"Yea, well, a lot of things have changed since fourth grade, Football Head. Or, have you failed to notice?" she leaned into him, rubbing her pajama shirt-covered breasts along his arm. Well, in all technicality, it was _his _pajama shirt covering her breasts.

Helga smiled; that statement had nothing to do with guilt-tripping or being spiteful. She was on a mission now – to repay him for all the times he had left her hot and bothered. Caressing his face with one hand, she had her other reach over to his mug, and lift it to his lips. He drank it greedily, almost as if it wasn't coffee, but liquid courage. Her smirk turned to a smile as she watched his eyes close, then open with a vengeance when she removed the container from his grasp.

He turned to her, but couldn't say anything when she replaced his coffee with her lips. She tasted like coffee, too. But this, this was definitely an improvement.

All too soon, she broke away, and stood without any thought further to what Arnold was feeling.

"Hurry up, we gotta get ready to go, so we can pick up my car by ten."

Arnold huffed, but nodded and downed the rest of his caffeine in one gulp. As he held the majority in his mouth before he swallowed he found something interesting in the bottom of his mug. There, in 3D at the base, was a character he recognized as the Blue Meanie from _Yellow Submarine_. Painfully swallowing the coffee, he laughed.

"There's a Blue Meanie in my mug!" he exclaimed, suddenly feeling like a little kid again. He had expected Helga to have already entered the house, and therefore not hear his little announcement. But a laughed alerted him that she had, in fact, heard, and was waiting for her reply.

Unfortunately, the only response he received was a playful but forceful shove to the back from someone's foot, and a face-plant into the pool.

HA

Arnold was still peeved at Helga for what she did to him this morning. Not only did she give him the smallest mug _**in the whole house**_, but she got him all worked up sexually, and then pushed him in the pool and laughed at him. The worst part was, no amount of cold water in his shower could cool him down enough. The second he stepped out of the bath and into his clothes, he was, for lack of a better term, _hot and bothered_ all over again.

And she knew.

Damn her, Helga knew what she was doing to him, and seemed to be taking pleasure in the fact that he hadn't had a moment's peace since last night.

_Oh God, last night_. That thought alone got Arnold worked up even more. Suddenly, he was to the point where he wanted to just grab Helga, and ravage her to the point of senselessness. It was then, when he was becoming desperate, that she came to his aide, or his demise; he wasn't quite sure which.

She cornered him in that amazingly defiled room, and smirked at his disheveled appearance. She let him indulge in a few heated kisses and fierce groping, before slipping away and casually tossing him the news.

"Come on, Football Head. Diane's gonna drive us to Scottsdale to pick up the car. After that, we're gonna hit the road."

And so here he was, in the backseat again, sliding back and forth despite the seatbelt. Thankfully, the drive to Scottsdale from Diane's house was about as long as the drive to her house form the airport. It was still long and just as nausea-inducing, needless to say.

When they pulled into the car lot, Arnold had never been happier to see solid, none-moving objects. As Helga let him escape the confines of his momentary prison, he was just about to get on his knees and kiss the ground – and Helga's feet – when a man approached them.

He looked like a shark, with his dark hair slicked back and his nose large and pointed with obvious Mediterranean heritage. His skin was a pale gray, and there was a cigarette dangling precariously from between his lips. He approached them as a shark would, quick and swiftly, as though afraid they would sense his presence and flee.

"'Ello 'ello! I'm Vinny Bianchi! And what can I do for you?"

Helga held out her hand, and smiled as he shook it vigorously.

"Hey, I'm Helga Pataki; we spoke on the phone the other day. I bought the 1971 red Ford Mustang."

Vinny nodded even more enthusiastically as he hastily led the group over to the back of the lot, where, among the other classic cars, sat Helga's new baby. Its red paint was shinning in the mid-morning sun, and the windows were rolled down so as not to over-heat the inside. Helga nearly cried when she saw it, but kept herself business appropriate, and quickly strode over to the side of the car.

With a nod to Diane, they each took a side of the car, and checked the tire pressure. When they deemed the tires were good, they opened the car doors ad slid in. Helga sat in the driver's seat, observing the gages, rolling down the window, and then back up. Diane set to trying the passenger window, then looking over the stereo system. Both then got out, and double-checked to make sure both seats flipped back and forth with ease. Helga turned to the sales-shark, and held out her hand.

"Can I have the keys? I'd like to test the engine."

Vinny nodded, and quickly dug into his pocket to fish out the set of keys. He had never had a buyer this thorough before, but decided it was a good thing. If she like what she got, then maybe she would suggest his dealership to her friends, and he would make more money. Then he could devoice his soul-sucking leech of a wife . . .

Receiving the keys, Helga turned the engine, and waited as Diane popped the hood, and took a look inside. After testing the brakes, revving the motor, verify that the oil was good, radiator fluid was high enough, and windshield washer liquid was at levels appropriate for the high-way, Helga killed the engine, and Diane latched the hood. After one more quick-over, Helga nodded to Vinny, and waited as he ran in to get the papers in need of signatures.

Arnold, meanwhile, had watched all of this with fascination. The duo certainly knew what they were looking for, and it was obvious that they found value in this car. When he came back out, Vinny watched as Helga signed each line with an elegant hand, and offered to answer any lingering questions she had.

"Yea, I just have a few. That stereo system is new – how's the quality?"

"Ah, yes, well, you see, this car was a favorite project of mine. I installed that CD player, along with new speakers and sub in the trunk. For a while I didn't think that I could sell her, but now that I've met you, I think you two will get along perfectly." Helga smiled, and thanked him for his complement as she handed over the bill of sale. He, in turn, passed her the document that served as a mock title while the transfer goes to the DMV.

"Alright, thank you Ms. Pataki, you should receive the title by mail in a week or so." Helga nodded, and thanked him again as he went to hunt down other customers.

After loading their stuff into the trunk – pausing for a moment to admire the subwoofer – Arnold and Helga bid goodbye to Aunt Diane.

"You _**will**_ come and visit me more often, you little brat. I don't think I can handle feeding you friends by myself." Helga laughed breathily as Diane pulled her into a hug that cut off her oxygen. Once she let go, Arnold held out his hand, but Diane surprised him by pulling him into a hug that was the mirror image of what she did to Helga.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay with you, Ms. Pataki." She shook her head as soon as she let him go.

"No no no Arnold, call me Diane, Aunt Diane, or Auntie. Ms. Pataki makes me feel older than I should be. Besides, you're dating Helga now – we're practically family." Arnold blushed, but didn't argue.

"Alright Diane."

Helga smirked at the exchange, but molded it to a smile and wave as Diane climbed into her own classic car, and took off, narrowly missing a bicyclist and her turn as she drove out of sight. Arnold paled at what he just witnessed, but Helga laughed, and led him to her car.

The two slid into the vinyl seats, and Helga shuddered with pleasure as she gripped the steering wheel. Arnold smiled as he watched her place the key in the ignition, and allowed the Mustang to growl with life.

"Reach into the back and pull out my CDs, would you Football Head?" Arnold nodded, his back popping relaxingly as he curved around the seat, feeling for the case blindly. When his fingers finally found it, he smiled and brought himself back around, holding the black holder out for her.

"Thanks Football Head." With a smile, she took it from him, and flipped through it, before stopping at a burnt purple CD labeled 'Orange'. He chuckled at her quirkiness, to which she raised a curious eyebrow, but said nothing, and flipped down the face of the Clarion player. Once the CD was swallowed into it, she closed the face again, and, after throwing the case back into the backseat and a medium sized green bag – he assumed it was her purse – at his feet, she put the car drive. Fast-paced guitar rifts quickly aided by a drum beat came through the speakers as she pulled out of the lot and onto the small side street.

"So, Helga, were to now? We heading home?" Somehow, the smirk that came across her face was not comforting. Not at all.

"Now, where's the fun in that? First, we're gonna go to the quickie-mart, buy up snacks, drinks, and an atlas. _**Then**_ we'll see where we go from there." Arnold felt his shoulders slump. What on earth could she possibly be thinking?

"But Helga, where are we going? Don't forget, we only have a _**week**_." She smiled again before making a left turn.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Football Head. We're going on an adventure, and will be back in time for school. I _**promise**_. But you have to promise me something in return." Arnold sighed, but nodded anyway. She was driving after all; therefore she was kinda in charge.

"Just sit back and enjoy the ride. We'll find out where we're going when we get there."

HA


	5. Double Feature

_**Disclaimer: Every chapter it's the same – there could be a nuclear apocalypse, with zombies and everything, and I *STILL* wouldn't own Hey Arnold. Now then . . . YAY! I'm back! I know that some of you may hate me for this chapter, but you know, this idea has been stuck in my head, so deal with it. And if you want a little sex after (you'll know what I'm talking about when you reach the end of this chapter) let me know, and I'll include it in the next one. Read, Review, and Spread the word. **_

HA

Arnold quickly learned that the guitar and drums was Led Zeppelin's D'Yer Mak'er, which is virtually perfect beginning-road-trip music. Helga had her window down, elbow resting partly out of it. Her ring of keys would graze her thigh every now and again – a mini car wheel that had once said Detroit Motor City, The Beatles Cartoon keychain with alligators on it, a silver dragonfly whose wings opened to a time-piece that was only correct twice a day, a mailbox key, an apartment key, and two car keys.

He smiled at the absurdity of it all, as they pulled into a gas station, and when Helga killed the engine and was opening her door, a young kid rushed over to her, wearing a bright orange safety vest. It was almost as if she slumped, knowing that someone else would be the first to pump gas into _**her**_ new car, but let it go.

"Hey, what can I get for WHOA! Is that _**your car**_?!" With a smirk, Helga pulled open the gas flap, and started towards the convenience store, pulling Arnold with her.

"Yes it is. Fill with regular unleaded, please and thank you." He nodded, and she watched him with sharp eyes as she walked backwards through the doors.

The little bells jingled happily upon their entry, the artificial breeze and florescent lights on the other end of the spectrum from outside.

"Alright Football Head, you grab the funions and trail mix, then meet me in the drink isle." Arnold saluted, and hurried off, but not before seeing Helga walk over to the cashier. She smiled at the girl who stood behind the counter, and hopped up and leaned into her ear, whispering something that made the other girl smile as well. The girl behind the counter nodded and whispered something back, then started ringing up the food and gas.

"Hey Football Head, what do you want to drink on the road?" she asked while sauntering towards him, passing chocolate and chips on her way towards the chilled beverage area.

"Well, I'm going to snatch up a SoBe; how about you?" He replied as he took out a mango melon from the cold shelf. Helga smirked and opened the door he just shut, pulling out an orange-carrot elixir.

"I'll have one, too. Come on, Nikki has the atlas ready for us, we just need to pay." Arnold gave her an odd look, to which she pointed to the cashier, who smiled and waved, holding up a traveler's road atlas. After shelling out three twenties, Helga and Arnold carried their stuff towards the door, but were stopped by Nikki.

"Woman Drivers! No Survivors!" She leaned over the glass counter with a sadistic smile. Helga just turned with a matching smile and lifted a power fist.

"Let there be lips!" Nikki laughed, and Arnold was more confused than ever as he followed Helga to the car, and watched her nod to the gas attendee and bring the Mustang back to life.

"What the hell was that about?" he asked as she slid the atlas underneath his seat before settling the car in drive and pulling out of the parking lot.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough Arnoldo." That smirk on her lips said it all, and Arnold wished he couldn't read it.

HA

Six hours, two bathroom stops and one lunch later, Arnold found himself in Las Vegas around seven at night. The lights had all come on, so the full effect was felt. It seemed as though Helga knew where she was going, because after a few minutes of driving the strip, she pulled onto a much smaller side street, and stopped in front of a costume shop.

"Do you love me, Football Head?" she asked him, completely serious. He froze for a moment, before nodding, face set.

"Of course Helga. You shouldn't even have to ask."

"Have you ever seen Rocky Horror Picture Show?" she was smiling now, obviously happy that Arnold told her he loved her.

"No, why?"

"Do you trust me?" He did not like where this was going, but thought it best to be honest.

"Yes, Helga, I trust you." Her smile turned into a smirk as she opened her door and slid out, crossing in front of the hood and stepping onto the sidewalk.

"That's good. I have a feeling you might actually enjoy this."

She took his hand and led him into the shop, trying to stifle her laughter when he stopped to gape.

The costume shop was definitely geared more towards adults – that was for sure. It was all lingerie and corsets and heels and fishnet stockings.

"Helga, why are we here?" Arnold wouldn't move from the door, so Helga let go of his hand but was facing him with a smirk.

"Hey, Football Head, I thought you said you trusted me." He wouldn't smile at her, and she sighed.

"Come on, Football Head, will you _**please**_ work with me here? What ever happened to your promise to enjoy the ride? This counts as the ride, so enjoy it." she affirmed, then turned to greet the guy who had approached them. He was dressed similarly to the product that hung on the walls: heels, stockings, red satin panties and a purple corset. Red and white hair in the style of the Bride of Frankenstein. Helga smiled and hugged him.

"Hey Danny, do we have enough time to get ready before the showing starts?" the man nodded, and looked over her shoulder at Arnold.

"Well, well, well, what have we hear? Virgin, Helga? I always knew you had it in you. Hello, I'm Danny, and I'll be helping you dress for tonight's showing. Oh my _**God**_ Helga, he his _**yummy**_! Oh, by the way, your stuff is right were you left it." Helga nodded, and laughed when Danny took Arnold by the hand and began to drag him towards the back changing rooms.

"Don't worry, Football Head, he won't put the moves on you. I'll see you out here in five!" and with one last look at her boyfriend's pleading face, she turned and made her way towards the women's changing stations.

***

"No way _no_ **no** _**no**_! Helga, I am _**not**_ going to wear this in _**public**_!!" Arnold announced as he was pushed out of the changing rooms. Helga peered over her stall door, and was amazed at the work Danny had done.

Arnold was no longer Arnold – he was now a blonde, floor ready Brad Majors with a football head. Gone were the regular blue jeans and causal button up top. Now he was dressed in a sequined black front lace corset, black satin undies, seamed fishnet stockings, a black satin garter belt with crinkly metallic red straps and black findings. His right arm had a red sequined over-the-elbow gauntlet edged around the top with faded red feather trim, and his left had a fingerless over-the-elbow seamed fishnet sleeve. To complete the look, he stood clumsily in black patent high heeled pumps; and his face was decked out in purple lipstick, and dark mascara eye shadow, for added affect.

"Arnold, you _**have to go **_out – you look positively whore-tastic. Danny, you are a genius. Now, tell me what you guys think; keep in mind I still have to do my hair." She stepped out, and Arnold was floored.

She was also wearing a sequined black front lace corset, only her's had a more purple look. She had a gold sequined gauntlet, over the elbow, black feather trim around the upper cuff on her right arm, and a Seamed fishnet sleeve, over the elbow on her left. The panties, fishnet stockings, garter belt and heels were the same as Arnolds. Her short hair was wet, and her makeup was similar to Arnold's.

"Holy -" He began, but she put up a hand to stop him.

"If I dress up, you dress up. Besides, if you don't, then the others' are going to _**know **_you're a virgin and then you'll never hear the end of it." She explained as she strutted over to the counter, plugged in a hair dryer and began blowing the hot hair at weird angles, trying to make it as frizzy as possible.

"But Helga, I'm not a virgin." Arnold muttered as he stumbled towards her. She just smiled and turned off the dryer before looking at him.

"Not _**that**_ kind of virgin, Football Head – an RHPS Virgin. One who's never seen it live or in _**this**_ kind of setting. Ready to go boys?"

Danny nodded, and prepared to lock up, while Helga took Arnold's hand to help steady his walking. He seemed to have forgotten that he was dressed in drag when he saw Helga violently shake her head to maximize her frizz.

_That has got to be the most erotic thing I have ever seen in my life._

"And just what kind of setting is it that we'll be seeing it in?" As soon as the trio set foot outside the store, Arnold noticed how many people – men and women – were dressed like they were. And they were all heading towards an old style movie theatre.

"Would you just trust me, Football Head? I promise nothing bad will happen."

HA

Helga was certain Arnold was having the time of his life.

From the moment they had entered the old theatre, they were assaulted by the sight of folks covered from head to toe in clothes honoring Rocky Horror Picture Show. Nikki had found them in what seemed to be the same moment they stepped into the viewing room, and had latched onto Danny like a leech. They found a spot in the middle of all the sexuality, and cheered like crazy when the film actually started.

Arnold was pulled in almost immediately; from the second all the non-virgins shouted "Let there be lips". He was amazed when they interacted with the movie, and found himself shouting and throwing things and even dancing as if he had been here every weekend since he turned fourteen. They all threw hotdogs and toast, flicked open lighters, Arnold learned to dance the Time Warp, and everyone laughed like there was no tomorrow at some of the things the audience shouted.

And he vowed – when the credits started rolling and the people started to stand and mingle – that even though he was wet, hungry, and nearly naked, it was one of the best nights of his life. And that he would have to buy the movie so that he could watch it without all the involvement.

He also decided that he would like to try that again, with_**out**_ being offered as one of the Virgin Sacrifices.

"Hey, Football Head! Come here! We're doing a photo!" Helga shouted over to him, and he was able to walk over to her as if he wasn't wearing heels.

_Oh my God, this is terrible, but I can't help feeling proud that I've mastered the Fuck-Me Pumps. Fantastic._

As soon as he joined the other three, he was pulled into Helga's arms, while a woman dressed as Columbia during the Time Warp scene snapped a Polaroid. Arnold, Helga, Danny and Nikki were doing the can-can leg-lift from Floor Show; their make-up was running and they were soaking wet and shivering and you could see some Helga and Nikki tit and Arnold had a wedgie so large he swore his undies became a thong.

It was the best picture Arnold had taken in a long time.


	6. Climbing the Tree

_**Disclaimer: Alright guys, you wanted some sex, so here you go. I know, I know, RHPS has this ability over people. Oh, right, Hey Arnold and anything else I mention in this story that obviously is not mine, well, is not mine. And incase you need help remembering the timeline, this chapter is the Tuesday (and flashbacks of Monday night) of their spring break. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

Arnold's first sight was a blur of dark colors. And when he blinked, his sight shifted. Confused, he sat up, the Polaroid sliding off his forehead and stopping on his chest. Vaguely aware of his nudity, Arnold lifted the picture, and blushed at the memories from last night that quickly returned to him.

_Last night. Whoa – and this isn't the first time I've been through this kind of 'Morning After' with Helga. I wonder if every night with her ends up like this . . . Helga, where is she?_

"Lookin' for me, Football Head?" His head snapped in the direction of the voice, and found Helga slouching against the doorframe, dressed in nothing but a white t-shirt that went to her thighs. At his blush, she laughed and jumped on the bed across his legs.

"Or thinking about last night?" She whispered with a chuckle, and Arnold blushed harder.

_**Last Night; Onyx Theatre, Las Vegas Nevada:**_

The Polaroid had just been snapped, and the Columbia look-alike handed the copy to Helga, who laughed and slid it down the front of her corset. Arnold gave her a questioning glance, and she leaned into his arm.

"That's a keeper. Don't worry; I'll make sure everyone gets a copy." She smirked, and weaved her right hand behind his back, then down to his ass to give it a good squeeze. Arnold growled at the challenge, and dove for her neck, sucking on it like a vampire without any puncture holes to work with. She laughed good-naturedly again, this time pinching one of his now-cold cheeks.

"Careful Football Head, you might mess up your make-up." At her remark, Arnold suddenly detached himself, and was about to yell at her, when Helga's mouth distracted him. After she broke the kiss, she leaned in to his ear.

"We'll be staying at Danny's – he lives above the costume shop. And the thing about me carrying around a Kama Sutra book; it's no joke." Was all she said, before linking arms with Nikki and sauntering out of the old theatre. Danny approached Arnold, and slung an arm around his naked shoulder.

"I don't care if you guys have sex – in all reality I encourage it. I just want you to know that if Nikki and I can hear you, you _**will**_ be challenged to a 'Moan-Off'. You've been warned."

***

The confession in the theatre lobby set the mood for Arnold and Helga as they stood before each other in a spare bedroom filled with silk scarves, feather boas, and satin pillows. Slowly, Helga smiled and unclipped her panties from her garter belt, shimming out of the black covering. She removed nothing else, as her breasts were already free from the confines of the corset, and instead perched perkily along the top. It was as if she were already naked, with now all over her reproductive organs in plain view.

_Reproduction . . . reproduction. I got her pistil right here._

Suddenly, Arnold was jealous again. Jealous of the kid that chased her around the fake classroom. Jealous of the guy friends that hugged her at her aunt's house. Jealous of the assholes who got to date and kiss her in high school. Jealous of the guy who played Mortimer Brewster in the play because he got to kiss her. Jealous of –

Arnold's inner rant was cut short when he felt Helga's lips upon his own, and her hands scandalously and shamelessly beginning to pull off his own panties.

Without breaking lip contact, she pushed his crotch-coverings as far down as she could with her hands, then lifted up a leg to continue the job while using her now freed hand to cover him with a condom. Once both of the pelvises were bare of clothing, Helga let go of his lips, a smirk dangerously close to consuming her own delectable, plump and bruised mouth.

"Wha?" Arnold was still stunned, and watched dazed as Helga grabbed a book from a table he didn't care to notice, and open it to a page that was bookmarked with an old looking tri-met ticket. Holding the page open to him, Arnold's haze burned away in an instant at the picture his eyes found.

With his own smirk, he lowered the reading material, and leaned into her ear.

"I think we can give it a shot."

Helga laughed, lifting her right leg and wrapping it around Arnold's hips; with him copying the action with his own limb. He slid right into her, moaning at the feel of her tight vagina coating him and her cold shoe heel digging into his ass. His movements weren't frantic or fast by any means – just a simple, fluid in-out.

His thrusts remained steady, and it was driving her insane. She started to lift her left leg, and he immediately let his right leg fall, while she ended up with both legs wrapped around his waist and her back against the wall they somehow found. Her moans became louder as his thrust – more harsh – and he pulled one of her exposed nipples into his mouth.

"Fuck!" he shouted aggressively when he felt two of Helga's fingers penetrate him as he slammed into her.

"Mhmm, Football Head, how does it feel? To be fucked while fucking? I told you I am a sadomasochist; can you handle it?" she challenged as he rutted into her as hard and fast as he possibly could. He wanted to ask her how she managed to sound so stable and focused, even as he felt her pulse and tighten around him.

But he couldn't. All he could was smash her against the wall, and bite down on her neck so hard he could taste a little bit of copper.

Finally, she screamed, and he released his own orgasm as they each thrust against each other a few more times, before somehow making it to the bed.

_**Spare Bedroom at Danny's; Present:**_

Arnold was brought out of his reverie by Helga snapping her fingers in his face. He looked startled, and the smile on her lips faded.

"Shit, I didn't scare you off because of that first round of RHPS-induced sex, did I?" she seemed worried, and it was then that he noticed the perfect indentation of teeth at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Leaning forward, he kissed the wound tenderly, smiling when he heard her gasp.

"No, you didn't scare me off. I was just . . . well, I guess startled would be a good word to use." She smirked and leaned forward, making him very aware of that fact that he was still naked, and that shirt was the _**only**_ thing she wore.

"Well, that's good. You know, that book has over three hundred pages, and it's a fully illustrated copy . . ." she trailed off, and laughed.

"Really? Well, I think I found a new favorite book. Hey, what time is it?" Without even looking at a time-keeper, Helga leaned forward to eliminate almost all the space between them.

"Too early to get out of bed."

They laughed together as Helga's shirt went flying, and she crawled under the covers, where he slid home.

HA

A few hours later found Arnold, Helga, Danny and Nikki sitting around a table at a charming little Mom & Pop diner a few blocks away from the costume shop. They were surrounded by folks that, at first glance, Arnold didn't recognize. That is, until he overheard a few of them mention how much fun the Time Warp is – suddenly almost all of them looked familiar.

"Hey Arnold!" Arnold turned his gaze back to Danny, who smirked and had a causal arm around Nikki's shoulders.

"What? Sorry, I was spaced out" he explained, and both boys ignored the girls' whisper of 'in sensation'. Danny's smirk grew wider as he picked up his coffee mug with his free hand.

"Yeah, well, like I was saying, I officially tip my hat to you. You and Helga definitely won the 'Moan-Off' last night. I think you may have taken second and third, too." Helga choked out a laugh and Arnold couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed.

"What can I say? It was amazing. But on the topic of the 'Moan-Off', I was just curious; you and Nikki, are, what –" Nikki cut everyone off with a triumphant smile.

"Friends With Benefits." She explained happily while Danny nodded. They both looked so normal at that moment, in jeans and regular band logo t-shirts, that you would never think they were ritualistic RHPS goers with swinger habits.

"_**Fantastic **_benefits." Helga didn't bother to mutter; but before another word could be said, a shadow fell over the table. The foursome looked up to see a tall, lanky man with sandy-blonde hair and a cheeky smile gaze down at them.

"Hey, were you guys at the showing last night?" he asked in what was clearly a southern California accent. They nodded, and his smile turned sincere almost immediately.

"Cool, well, a bunch of us are heading to San Francisco in a Bungee Jumping crew – any of you want to join us?" He motioned to a table of six, all of whom smiled and waved. Helga smiled and nodded.

"Sure, we'll join you. When do we leave?" The guy looked at his digital wrist watch and blanched.

"Ugh, right now if we want to make any sort of progress today." Helga nodded again, and turned to Nikki and Danny.

"Well guys, it looks like we won't have time get to know each other too well this time. I'll phone you next time we're in the area, alright?" Danny smiled and shook Helga's hand, while Nikki stood and did the palm-elbow thing that Arnold remembered seeing Riff Raff and Magenta do a lot in the movie last night.

"You better. It was nice meeting you."

As the group left the diner to enter their own cars, Arnold turned to Helga, slightly confused.

"What did you guys mean about all that 'getting to know each other' stuff? Don't you guys already know each other?" Helga just smirked as she followed a Hummer painted like a Mini Cooper out of the parking lot.

"Oh, that. No, I've known Danny for barely a month now, and Nikki I just met yesterday." Arnold just gaped at her as she turned on the music and began to sing along half-heartedly. One major thought ran through his head.

_How in the Hell does she do it?_


	7. Zombie Chat Radio 65000

_**Disclaimer: Are you guys as sick of this as I am? Hey Arnold and other obviously referenced stuff in here belong to other people. Sorry this is a short chapter, but it's just a filler pretty much. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

"I'm telling you, Football Head, in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse, one would be able to outlast the zombies in a mall." Helga insisted as she followed the Hummer merging onto I-15 S, and entered California.

"And I'm telling _**you**_, Helga, you just couldn't do it. You'd run out of food and ammo before they ran out of appetite." He smirked, figuring she would concede to his victory. He should have remembered that nothing is ever that easy with Helga.

"You know, Football Head, for a guy who gets all high marks in school, you sure can be a dope sometimes." He looked at her sharply, and her own smirk peeved him.

"Oh, and how is that?" his snap made her laugh, trying to ease the tension.

"Hey, before you bite my head off, will you hear me out like the good-natured, studious man I know and love?" she asked innocently, and he found it hard to stay mad.

"Yeah, alright, I'll hear you out." She smiled, and took his hand, stroking his knuckles with her thumb.

"Thank you. Alright, so, if you securely lock and block all the doors, and posted sentries, you would be able to outlast the zombies. You're rebuttal?" Arnold suddenly found himself turned on by this logical side of Helga.

"You would run out of food and ammo." He stated again, and she smiled.

"Only if you go about looting the place. If you logically move from one store to the next, rationing the supplies, you might be able to last years." She quirked an eyebrow, as if waiting for him to bring on the next topic.

"Yeah, and then what? When the food runs out, there will still be zombies." She smirked again, as if she knew something he didn't.

"Aren't you forgetting something, Arnoldo?" she was teasing him, he just knew it.

". . . What?"

"Rate of decay, Football Head. Flesh-eating zombies or not, they're still dead and will rot away just like every other dead thing."

"Yeah, but then what about the ones that feast on human flesh. Some would decay faster than others, right?" she shook her head, a smile on her lips as she gazed out on the road.

"Sorry Football Head, but it can't be both ways. If they're dead three-ways to Sunday, there is no digestion, no cellular growth – hence the decay. The flesh they ingest will just sit in their stomachs, rotting along with the rest them. Depending on the climate surrounding the body, decomposition can occur rather quickly. Eventually, they will all end up nothing but a pile of bones; and have you ever seen a skull be able to eat people without muscles, tendons and ligaments to work it?" Arnold sat stunned for a moment, before turning to look at her with a cheesy grin.

"Yes. _Army of Darkness_, 1992. There were skeletal zombies walking around in that movie." Helga smirked and held up two fingers.

"There are two points wrong with that argument. First is that those were _Skeleton Men_, not Zombies."

"What do you mean? They came out of the ground, didn't they?" She smirked and held out her hand, signaling that she wanted a drink of her SoBe, while she continued her schooling of her boyfriend in the Ways of Zombie survival. Arnold handed the open bottle to her, hanging on her every word.

"Did you see them actually eat the flesh of the living?"

Arnold paused at the revelation.

"No, no I didn't." She smirked in triumph, and Arnold had another thought.

"What's the second point?" Her smirk widened.

"The second, my dear Football Head, is that the movie you referenced is a Bruce Campbell movie, and is therefore useless. It's like using Wikipedia on a research paper." Arnold laughed, and tried to think of another point to add to the debate, when the little walkie-talkie radio they were given at the beginning of the trek to San Francisco sparked to life.

"_Hey, this is Mark, from the Mini Hummer ahead of you guys. Helga, you'll still run out of food in the mall – there's no way to get food trucks in if there's a Zombie Apocalypse._" Before Helga could pick up the radio to remark, it flared again.

"_Yeah, this Kari, from the Micro Bus behind the leader. I mean when you run out of food and weapons, you'll just end up like a modern-day Masada_." Helga grabbed the receiver before anyone else could comment, and spoke directly into it.

"Come _on_, guys, at least give me something I have to think about! Alright, first I'll address the food. You go about the food in this way: ration out and eat the perishable stuff first, like the supplies in restaurants – meat, vegetables and dairy. Then, you have the preserved stuff, like candy bars and canned food.

"Malls almost always have garden stores, so while you're going through the one source of food, you can plant and grow your own food. Granted, you won't have any meat unless you eat the healthy pets from the pet stores – but it beats the alternative.

"As for the weapons, you have snipers on the roof as part of the sentries. You only have the most skilled marksmen up there, and they pick off the fresher looking ghouls, trying to use only one bullet to the head. Leave the older looking ones to decay on their own. Any more comments?"

"_Jack, Kari's co-pilot, and I want to bring us back to the securing of the front doors. What happens when the zombies get smart enough to work through your blockades and get into the mall?_" Helga laughed and held the walkie-talkie up t her mouth.

"Tell me, Jack, are you referring to George A. Romero's _Land of the Dead_, or that Will Smith movie _I Am Legend_?"

"_Well, the Zombies in LotD become smart enough to fight back against Simon Baker; and those in 'I Am Legend' were never stupid._"

"Well, Jack, because there is no life, no memory, and little to no motor skills, we can asses that their brain function is relatively low. So, the Romero zombies are exception, not rule. And as for I Am Legend, those weren't zombies, but genetically mutated cannibals – not the living dead, and therefore in a different category where these survival methods don't apply."

The line was silent for a few moments, before Mark's voice came back on.

"_Helga, in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse, I'm shackin up with you._" A bunch of other voices cackled over the line, and Helga smiled in her victory.

"_Attention thrill-seekers. This is your steward, Bung E. Jumper, just letting you know that we will be taking an exit up here that leads to Barstow for fuel, gas, and entertainment I suppose. _" Arnold and Helga shared a look, then a laugh. Arnold took the radio from Helga, and held it to his own mouth.

"Bung E. Jumper, huh? Well, that's cool with us I suppose." The line fizzled out, giving way to silence again. Arnold and Helga basked in it, straight faced and quiet, until they looked at each other, and burst into laughter again.

"Bung E. Jumper?"

HA


	8. Pick Up Tips and Comic Books

_**Disclaimer: Alright, so, some of you may still be reeling from the zombie chapter, but for those of you who love RHPS and zombies, hope you like comics and burgers too! So this one is for all you nerds out there like me! I'm also thinking of having another songfic chapter. Let me know what you guys think. Read, Review and Spread the word.**_

HA

The small gravel parking lot of Carrows' was out of the ordinary for the locals of Barstow. Taking up four parking spaces were a white 1980 Plymouth Fire Arrow, a red and white 1962 VW Microbus, an H2 Hummer painted to look like a Mini Cooper, and a red 1971 Mustang. The group traveling with these cars was currently sitting at a large table formed from two smaller ones, eating lunch.

Every single one of them – except for Kari, the vegetarian with dreadlocks and a bandana – was eating some variation of burger or melt.

"So, we have to get the feeling back in our butts before we hit the road again, right? What is there to do around here?" Helga asked as she took another bite from her half-eaten Southwest Bacon Cheese Burger. Tom, or Bung E. Jumper as everyone was coming to know him, looking over his own copy of a Traveler's Atlas, lifted his head to gaze at his group. He smiled charmingly, and scratched the back of his head.

"Well, there's an arcade and a comic book shop just down the street if you guys wanna hit that after lunch." The group gave out a cheer. Arnold and Helga started an eating contest to see who could get to the comic shop first. Jack, Kari, and Mark watched them with amusement, and laughed when Arnold choked on his Mile High Roast Beef Melt.

"Whoa, cool it Arnold. We don't want you to die." Jack joked as he clapped Arnold on the back to help dislodge the piece of meat. Helga's laughter joined the table as she finished her burger and fries, catching Arnold's forlorn glance.

"Yeah Football Head, think of my interests. I'm a sadomasochist, not necrophiliac." Arnold glared at her, but understood the underlying message of what she was saying. In a dramatic sense, his death would mean her death.

"Why do you call him Football Head?" Mark asked as he watched the eye connection between the two eighteen year olds.

"It's because he has a football shaped head, doi." She pointed out as she ruffled Arnold's hair while stealing a fry from his plate.

"You guys want to go with us to the comic shop?" Kari inquired towards the blondes, taking a drink from her cherry cola. Arnold and Helga nodded, and each threw a ten on the table. Granted it was a bit much, but they both believed in generous tips – especially after knowing Jude, who always bitches about people who leave shoddy ones.

"Sure, let's get to it. Hey, Bung, we'll have our walkie-talkie's on in case you need us." He nodded to the group of five, before returning to a conversation he was having with his girlfriend – a cute little Irish woman with an attitude to make up for her short stature.

"Alright, let's hit it." Helga announced, and the group left the restaurant, walking down the main drag in search of the comic book store. They found it a few doors down from the Arcade, a sign with Spiderman's face a welcoming beacon to the road-weary nerds who knew where to look. Jack held the door open for everyone, and received an ass-smack from all – except Kari, who was the last to enter. She gave him a fond pinch-rub-smack.

As soon as they entered the building, Helga and Mark dropped to their knees to bow, chanting something that sounded like "Not Worthy". Arnold, who watched the exchanged between Kari and Jack with some interest, turned back to see what the others did, and quickly dropped to his knees as well.

The Mecca of all comic book stores, this was a three story building with not only multiple copies of every comic book you could think of, but also merchandise like t-shirts, action figures, collectables, purses, key chains, _**shoes**_, backpacks! This place had it all.

As soon as Helga returned to her feet, she grabbed Arnold's hand and pulled him to the nearest employee, asking where they had the Marvel Zombies™ collection.

"Second floor, across from the bathrooms." She replied with a smile, and Helga sent a quick glance at her nametag with her own smile.

"Thank you Janet."

Helga just about ran up the stairs pulling Arnold, and he was certain his feet never touched the floor. He was also certain he could have cause quite a bit of damage, had Helga not stopped him before he crashed into the book shelf. She was on her knees in seconds, reading each and every spine until she found the one she was looking for.

She still hadn't found it when a young kid – probably seventeen – came up to them, talking about Spiderman and how it's changed over the years. Slowly, Helga stood and turned to address the kid, a smile on her face. She took hold of Arnold's right arm, gripping it lightly as the kid kept droning on and on about Spiderman. He never looked at Arnold – hell, he barely looked at Helga's eyes. Apparently, no one told him that eye contact is best established _**above**_ shoulder level.

After about ten minutes of only half listening to him, Helga smiled and held up her hand.

"Thank you, that was really informative. You see that girl over there, the one with the dreadlocks? Well, I think she has a few questions for you." He nodded, and started over towards Kari; once he was gone Helga released a shaky sigh.

"Ugh, that was painful." Arnold looked down at her as she resumed her search of that one Zombie comic.

"What was?" he asked as he joined her on the floor. Helga stopped and looked at him, eyebrows raised in obvious disbelief.

"What, were you zoning out back there?" He nodded, and she laughed.

"What? I was reading the covers on the opposite wall. I was _in the zone_." She laughed harder, and pulled out the comic book she had been looking for.

"I was mentally molested, and you didn't even notice." Now it was Arnold's turn to raise eyebrows in disbelief.

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

Helga just walked over to the little lounge area the store had set up for people who wanted to read before they buy, and sat in a beanbag chair.

"I mean, that kid's hand mentally came out and grabbed my chest three or four times. You're my boyfriend; you're supposed to defend my honor." Arnold laughed and pulled out Batman: The Killing Joke™.

"What Honor?" Helga laughed and kicked him, before settling down and reading.

"Jerk. You know, he probably could have reached out and physically _**grabbed**_ my tits, and you wouldn't have even noticed." Arnold stopped his own reading, and looked at Helga thoughtfully for a moment.

"Yes, I would have."

"Oh, how so?"

"No matter what I was doing or looking at, if he grabbed you chest, I would have looked up and said 'I sense a disturbance in the force'." Helga laughed genuinely this time, and started rubbing her foot up his jean-covered leg.

"How about now, Football Head – do you sense a disturbance in the force now?"

Arnold's breath caught in his throat, and he nearly growled at Helga's bravery. He suddenly felt the need to pull her into the men's room and have crazy public sex with her.

_Great, Helga's rubbing off on me._

He ignored the little voice inside his head that told him anything to do with Helga, rubbing, and himself was always good – and was about to pounce on her when she laughed.

"What's so funny, Helga?" he asked, and she stood, walking over to him casually, before sitting down on the beanbag chair next to him.

"You see that cute little red head over there, looking at the Origin of Poison Ivy™?" she asked, and Arnold causally looked to his right – seeing the girl Helga was talking about, her nose in the book.

"Yeah, what about her?" he asked her, and she just laughed again before bringing herself under control.

"_**Well**_, Football Head, she's checking you out, trying to get you to notice her." With that said, she resumed her reading of Marvel Heroes turned Zombies, waiting for Arnold to take the bait. He just watched the red head for a few more seconds, before turning back to Helga.

"And just how do you deduce that, oh mighty Sherlock." Helga blushed at the name, but overall swelled with pride at the complement.

"Well, for starters, Arnoldo, she's clocked you three times now. She's been on that same page since I sent that Geekbait towards Kari." All this time, she never looked up from her book, and kept right on reading as Arnold was sucked in further and further.

"And? What else – or is that all?" Helga smirked, clicking her tongue with satisfaction.

"On her left thumb is a class ring. She's made sure she's close enough so that you can read the year on the side towards us – 2009. Meaning she's a Senior, and wants you to know she's old enough to fool around.

"She's reading a Poison Ivy comic because besides the fact that Ivy and the Joker are both DC characters, she wants you to know that she feels empowered. It's a challenge. She knows what she has and all that jazz, and wants to know if you can handle it.

"Also, each time she's looked at you, she's casually brushed the hair away from her face on the left side – so you can get a profile and think she has pretty face.

"And finally, her stance. Right foot is in front of her, and she's using her left as support for her weight. The comic she has in her hands is nestled somewhat beneath her boobs, so she has to look over them to read. Oops, there's clock number five – she's going to walk up to you in a few minutes."

True to Helga prediction, the red head walked over to Arnold – Helga had slouched down and buried her head in the comic in hopes of being inconspicuous.

"Hi, I just couldn't help but notice that you're reading Batman: The Killing Joke™, and was wondering if you'd like to talk about comics sometime – maybe over coffee? You know, from one DC fan to another." She was twirling a piece of auburn hair with her left hand, and smiling at him, her right forefingers holding her spot in the comic she was reading. Arnold suddenly had a flashback to Saturday, when Lila was asking him to teach her the Charleston. It seemed like forever since he had realized how much he cared for Helga – when in reality it was only a few days ago.

"Thank you for the offer, but I have a girlfriend – and I don't think that invitation extends to her because she's a hardcore Marvel fan." The red head pouted, but quickly exchanged it with a smile.

"Alright – no harm in asking, huh?" she then walked off, and Helga abruptly sat up, purposefully smacking Arnold in the back of the head while doing so.

"What is wrong with you, Football Head?! She was one word away from ripping off her clothes and throwing herself on the floor shouting 'RAVAGE ME!'!" By this time, Jack and Mark had come and sat down in the beanbag chairs across from them, followed shortly by Kari who seemed to be shaking off a bad experience.

"Yeah, she wasn't really my type." Arnold eluded as the other three clued into the conversation.

"Who? That red head we just passed while coming up the stairs? Man, she was smokin'!" Mark announced as he greedily licked his lips.

"Oh, and why wasn't she your type, Arnoldo?" Helga asked, no longer scolding, but just curious.

"I don't like red heads."

Arnold and Helga shared a smile, but before anyone could say another word, Helga's radio cackled with life, and Tom's voice could be heard.

"_Alright_ _guys, pack it up, we're hittin a gas station, and then the road_."

"Copy that Capt'n." Helga responded, and the group put away whatever they were holding, before making their way down the stairs.

"You know Football Head, for that good answer about not liking red heads, I think you deserve something. So how about when we bunk down for the night I give you a little reward." Helga smirk as Arnold began kissing her neck, ignoring the glare from the red head as they walked by her.

"Helga, don't you think we're taking this relationship a little fast?" Said girl stopped walking, a look of shock on her face. But soon enough it melted away into a smirk.

"Well, Arnold, I have been waiting for this relationship since I was three, so I'd say we're just making up for lost time." She replied as she smacked his ass before walking around him towards the exit. Arnold quickly caught up with her, grabbing her hips in the process.

"Why did I never notice you before?" Helga just laughed and continued walking.

"I've been asking myself the same thing."

Just as the group meandered by the young seventeen year old, they heard him call out to one of their numbers.

"Bye Kari!"

Kari fumed, and refused look at him; instead she just walked out the door as the rest of the group laughed at her.

"I'm sorry, Kari." Helga offered as she watched Kari and Jack hold hands; her and Arnold mirroring their actions.

"It's alright Helga, it's not your fault some zittzy, hormone-raging teen started hitting on me." Helga just became straight faced and serious, before looking Kari in the eye.

"No, _**I'm Sorry**_, Kari."

The woman with the dreads just stopped, halting Jack as well. She stood in thought for a moment, before her eyes shrank with anger, and her face grew even redder than it was before.

"Helga, I'm going to _**kill you**_!!"

HA


	9. A Fall, Err, Leap of Faith

_**Disclaimer: Hello again, my gentle and faithful readers. I gotta tell you, if you don't like this chapter, that's just fine with me because I'm in the blissful zone of **_Not. Caring._** Oh, that sounded mean . . . Enjoy! Oh, P.S. – the only thing I own is the story line. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

It was after seven – but really closer to eight – when the travelers finally rolled into San Francisco Tuesday evening. Of course, after several hours of non-stop driving, the group was so worn out and sore, that they had unanimously agreed to just roll into the first Best Western they saw. After parking in the back/side parking reserved for guests, the group, now rather large, tumbled unceremoniously into the lobby of the cheap hotel.

The lady behind the desk eyed them skeptically, before coming to the understanding they were not _**all**_ to be sharing the same room.

"Oh, _**God**_ no, we don't know each other well enough to be _**that**_ cheap!" Tom reassured her again as he, Jack, Arnold, Helga, and another woman the group picked up at lunch, each helped pay for five rooms. Arnold kept telling Helga she didn't have to pay, but she just waved Ol' Betsy under his nose, before smiling and stroking his chin.

"Chill Football Head. It's the twenty first century, and perfectly acceptable for a girl to help pay for her hotel room." she insisted as she handed the woman her debt card.

"Yeah Arnold; and think of it this way: in Helga's eyes, if you pay for the full room, she'll feel like your hooker instead of your girlfriend." Kari laughed as she took the card key intended for her, Jack and Mark. Arnold turned to gape at her, only to be met with a smirk that didn't quite hold the strength Helga's did.

"And what makes you say that?" He returned as Helga just stood next to him, looking back and forth between Kari and Arnold. Kari laughed and twirled on her heel.

"She told me." She laughed again, and once the other's received the keys to their rooms, the group dispersed for the night. Instead of taking the elevator with Jack, Kari and Mark, Arnold and Helga chose the stairs to get to their third floor room. They held hands, talking quietly as if it were later than quarter past eight.

"So, is it me, or is there a thing between those three?" Helga asked Arnold while leaning on the door frame as he moved to slide the card through the lock. He stared at her, stunned as the card fell from his grasp and into the reader. The light flicked green, and Helga reached past him to open the door with a smirk.

"What do you mean Helga?" he asked as she threw her stuff at the foot of the bed, and opened the curtains to take in the view. He entered the room after her, and was stunned at the sight that greeted him; for some reason, it was so familiar. She was standing at the window, with the sight of some downtown community as her backdrop. Her face was peeking over he shoulder, watching him as her smirk faded into a smile.

"You know what I'm talking about, Football Head. I think they're doing what we're doing, but with three people instead of two. OH! I need to call Phoebs!" Arnold was pulled out of his reverie by her voice, and observed her as she pulled out her phone, and hit a few buttons before holding the device to her ear.

"Phoebe? Hey, what's up sweetie? Yeah, we're here in San Francisco now, just got to our hotel room. No, that'll be tomorrow. Yup. So, anything new to report? Really? Well, that's cool – yeah, I'll tell him, see what he thinks. Huh? Yes Phoebe – only if you are. _Ha_. **Ha**. _**Ha**_. See, it's not so funny when it's you, is it. What? Oh, thank you! I'm gonna have to kiss you when we get back home. Yes, I'll use it tomorrow. Love you too. Night."

During her conversation, Arnold retreated into the bathroom, pulling off his jeans and t-shirt. As she hung up, Helga went to her bag and opened it up, sifting through until she found something she deemed interesting.

"Well now, how did I miss you?" she asked as she held up a small camcorder, pointing it at Arnold as he emerged from bathroom.

"Hey, where'd you get that?" She smiled and placed it back in her pack.

"Phoebe stashed it in my bag the night before we left. I don't know how I didn't see it earlier. Oh well, it'll be great for when we go bungee jumping tomorrow." Arnold faltered, partly because of her enthusiasm, and partly because she just stripped right in front of him, before pulling on her typical pajama bottoms and some ratty high school pep band shirt from her sister.

"Yeah, Helga, about that -" he began, but she cut him off as she grabbed her tooth brush and toothpaste.

"You don't want to jump tomorrow, right?" she asked with a smile as she righted herself, watching him fidget like a boy asking out his crush.

"Not really, no." Her smile widened as she nodded, making her way to the bathroom.

"That's alright, Football Head, I didn't think you would. Hell, I didn't think you would dress up for RHPS, so in my book you've lasted well beyond my expectations. Hey, you wanna turn the radio on low?" She poked her head out the door frame with the orange and pink toothbrush hanging from her mouth. Arnold laughed and nodded, before sitting on the bed so he could watch her.

He couldn't help but laugh at the sight she presented, one of the toughest kids in their high school, leaning on the counter and tapping one foot behind her as she brushed her teeth. As the chorus to the song approached, she spit out what was in her mouth to sing along.

"_If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain. If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me, and escape_." She laughed again, and continued brushing, not thinking anymore on it, until she heard Arnold's voice from the main living area.

"_Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne. I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape. At a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape._" He was terribly off key, but at least he had the tune. Helga laughed, and forgot all about her teeth as she stuck her head out the door.

"I knew her smile in an instant . . ." Arnold mimed as he watched her.

"I knew the curve of her face." He held out his hand as if to trace he face, but never made contact.

"Oh, it's you." She said with the song and smiled when he walked up to her and took her hands. They laughed lightly, but stopped when Arnold continued to sing along to the song.

"I never knew . . . _That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne. That you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. You're the lady I've looked for, come with me, and escape_." And together they danced, well, more like quickly swayed, to the beat and continued to sing along.

"_If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain. If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape_." And with that, they collapsed onto the bed, laughing at the absurdity of it all as the Rupert Holmes' voice faded with the music. Helga snuggled into his neck, before pulling out with a smile.

"So, Phoebs told me that Little Miss Perfect has been inquiring of you. And she (Phoebe) told me that Lila said she's been having some _**very**_ naughty and unbecoming dreams about you lately. So, what are you going to do about it?" she asked while sitting up and running a soft hand through his hair. Arnold thought about it for a moment, before smiling, and capturing her lips in a terribly sappy but still horribly sweet kiss. When he pulled away, he smirked at the lovesick smile Helga couldn't stop from dancing across her face.

"I'm going to tell her to take me off her rosters. I found the greatest girl for me, and nothing could ever tear us apart." He watched her eyes light up, as she brought their faces as close as possible without actual contact.

"Eternally together, huh?" she asked, and he nodded, finally kissing her in what he had hoped was a long and searing kiss – that is, until she pulled away.

"Has anyone ever told you you're a hopeless romantic?" she muttered, while walking towards the bathroom, turning on the light they had unknowingly shut off. Arnold scratched the back of his head with a grin as he watched her hips.

"Yeah, but I've always thought of myself as more of a hope_**ful**_ romantic more than a hopeless one. What are you doing?" his question was immediately answered when he heard the rush of water from the shower.

"I'm takin' a shower, what's it look like?" she asked in reply with a smirk as the steam began to flitter out of the small half-room, and caress Arnold's face.

"But, what about my reward?" he begged, getting up to lean against the bathroom entrance frame, his head towards an already mostly-naked Helga. She only smirked with mischief, before feeling the water as she kicked her pants and panties away from her ankles. At his pouting look, she didn't answer his question, only turned to face him fully and look him up and down.

"You gonna join me or what?"

Arnold grinned.

HA

For the first time in their intimate – albeit _**short**_ – relationship, Helga was content to remain in Arnold's arms after she awoke. It was still early; she didn't know _**how**_ early, but if the dark sky behind the curtains had anything to say about it . . .

Laying in bed with Arnold forced her to think about this whole scenario with him, instead of thinking of other things if she snuck down to the lobby and eat a cheap continental breakfast. Really: stiff bagels, hard boiled eggs with no salt and pepper, weak coffee, and generic cereal with no milk? If she wanted a sparse and tasteless meal, she could have stayed at home and told Lauren and Jude it was their day to make breakfast.

_Hey, focus Helga. We're here to think about our relationship with Arnold, not about the food you __**could**__ be eating._

She rolled her eyes at her own thoughts, the traitorous ones that they were.

_Alright, so, I know that he is really apprehensive about all this stuff I'm trying to get us to experience. I really was surprised to see him getting into the Rocky Horror Picture Show night I dragged him too. And he did put up quite a fight with the Zombie conversation we all had. But, let's be honest, I never really expected him to go bungee jumping. I wonder if he'll be willing to try surfing with me. Hm . . . With Lila having wet dreams about him, I doubt he'll stick with me for long. So I guess I better enjoy it while I can._

Arnold stirred, jarring Helga from her thoughts as she watched him open his eyes. He looked confused at first, until his eyes made the connection with her's, and he smiled in appreciation, burying his nose in the crook of her neck.

"Mmm, good morning to you too, Football Head." Helga laughed as he inhaled her scent. His nose softly brushed against her skin as his mouth found her pulse point, sucking it gently.

"This is the best way I think I've ever woken up." He mumbled into her flesh, tickling her into laughter. All too soon, a knock was heard at the door, and the two ceased their moment to look towards the barrier.

"_Arnold, Helga, you guys up yet?_" Kari's voice carried through the wood, and the eighteen year olds groaned as Arnold rolled off Helga while she flipped the covers off their legs.

"Yeah Kari, we'll be out in a few." Helga shouted back as she slipped out of her pajamas, and pulled up her jeans and bra.

"_Alright. We'll see you two in the lobby._" And with that, they knew Kari was gone. Helga had emptied her bag, sifting around the clothes she had, looking for a shirt to wear. Arnold smirked; wrapping his arms around her still naked waist as he softly bit her skin next to her bra strap.

"Hey, Football Head, just because you chickened out, doesn't mean you can distract me. I fully intend to jump today." He laughed wholeheartedly as she finally pulled on a black long-john top, then an orange shirt over that. As she turned to face him, Arnold couldn't help but laugh at the subtle humor on the front of her shirt, just below her boobs. There was a near perfectly completed Rubik's cube, except on the red side, there was one white square. Well, really it was orange because her shirt was orange. Beneath the cube, in all caps Georgia font, was the all-too common catch phrase "SHIT HAPPENS".

At his laughter, Helga looked down at her stomach, then back at his face with a smirk.

"What? Is there something on my shirt?" He just chuckled and pulled on his jeans and a clean t-shirt. They didn't see any real need for a morning shower, after . . . last night.

Arnold grinned to himself at the memory, before grabbing Helga's hand, pulling her out the hotel room and down the stairs.

***

After a hotel breakfast that was everything Helga expected it to be, the group clambered into their respected vehicles to find a bridge to jump off. Helga's 'Orange' CD was proving to be worthwhile, for on their trek they were head bopping and swaying to _California Dreamin' [Rave Techno Remix]_ by Global Deejays. Helga would sing along to the classic parts from _California Dreamin_ and _San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair) _causing Arnold to smile as he tried his best to harmonize with her.

After about fifteen minutes of driving in the more scenic areas, Tom pulled off to the side of the road near a bridge that had little traffic. It was a high bridge, which looked to the thrill seekers like it had been plucked from Western Europe and dropped right in front of them. As they all unload the equipment, Tom shouted out instructions and directions, in case anyone had never jumped before.

With a smile, Helga pulled out her camera, and turned it on, pointing it towards her fellow jumpers as she narrated.

"Here we are at . . . at . . . well, shit if I know where we are. About to jump off a bridge. See that bridge over there? Right . . . there? Yup. Totally gonna go off it. Connected of course – we aren't suicidal, just stupid. Whoohoo!" With her introduction given, Helga shut off the camera and went to join Arnold, Jack, Kari, and Mark inside the group as Tom demonstrated how to safely wear and adjust the Harness. Then he explained that, because the river below had strong currents and they had no boats, they were going to use a motorized pulley system to send someone down to haul up the jumper once they were reduced to a soft sway.

She was bouncing with giddiness by the time Kari helped her step into and adjust the harness, pointing the camera at herself as she explained what was going on. Once the bungee cord was attached, Arnold approached her with an apprehensive smile.

"You really are going to go through with this, aren't you?" She smirked and kissed him full on the mouth. At his look of confusion, she laughed and held her camcorder in a death grip.

"In case I die." Was the answer she gave, and he growled a protective sound. She scoffed, but smiled all the same.

"Relax Football Head. If anyone were to die bungee jumping, it'd be you, so we're all lucky you chickened out."

"I would not die bungee jumping!"

"Any time you're ready Helga." Kari butted in as she secured the line. Both Helga and Arnold heard her, but chose not to answer.

"Yes you would Arnold – let's face it: You're Jedi Powers are no match for my Ninja Skills. I'm a black belt and you're barely a Padawan." She had thrown him off guard with her comment – it made _**no**_ sense for their argument.

"What?" he couldn't even wrap his mind around _why_ she would say it. She smiled in victory as she climbed over the side of the bridge, and secured her camcorder in front of her.

"Hey, Helga, have you ever bungee jumped before?" Jack asked as he finished setting up his own digital recording device so Helga would receive two views of the same jump. She only smirked and leaned forward to kiss Arnold, who was still too confused to do anything.

"No."

Everyone but Arnold laughed as a small and surprised 'Whoa' was all anyone heard from Helga as she disappeared off the side of the bridge.

***

Falling. Falling was probably as great as flying. Helga screamed in delight as she tried and failed to keep the camera focused on one point. Laughter soon erupted from her lips as her cord straightened, then tightened when it was stretch from the force of her weight. As she was pulled up the first time, she aimed the camcorder towards the river, and watched as it distanced, then rapidly approached her, then distanced again.

"This is _**so COOL**_!!" she screamed to no one in particular as each of her bounces became smaller and smaller; until finally she was simply spinning in a slow, wide circle. Helga giggled senselessly as she exhaled, still reeling from the adrenaline high.

"Heya Helga, whatcha doin?" A voice – seemingly disembodied – called out to her, and she bit back the urge to ask if it was God.

"Oh, you know, just hangin around." She replied, and received laughter in return as she looked down, which was really up, and found Mark sitting in a sling. She aimed towards him, and watched with mild fascination as he grabbed her cord and pulled her towards him.

"Hey, you better not be lookin up, err, down my shirt." She threatened when she realized her bra was partially exposed. Ultimately, though, she really didn't care, and was back to being chummy with him as she was righted, and sat in the empty sling as they were slowly pulled back up to the bridge.

"So, with now one official and documented jump under your belt, how would you say it is?" He asked when they were about halfway up. Helga smirked, thinking about it for a moment, before a wild smile broke out.

"It's as good as flying, and almost as good as sex."

HA


	10. Sister, My Sister

_**Disclaimer: HAPPY 4/20 DAY!! I still don't own Hey Arnold, but it would be cool if I did. Alright, let's see if any of you can deduce how the story ends (don't worry, I still have a ways to go). I wanna see if I still have the magic touch. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

_***Just a note: PLEASE DON'T call the cell phone numbers. Yes one is mine, and yes, the other was influenced by an amazing song. I repeat; DO. NOT. CALL. THEM. Thank you.***_

HA

When Helga and Mark reached the bridge, Arnold rushed over to see his girlfriend smiling like the cat who ate the canary. As soon as she made eye contact with him, her smile grew till it looked like she had more teeth than face.

"Football Head you have _**got**_ to try this!" She squealed, practically hurtling over the side of the bridge, gabbing for his hands. He let her find purchase, but was a bit more reluctant to be led towards the jumping point.

"I don't know Helga, so many things could go wrong, and I just -" He was cut off by a subtle sigh that came from Helga. After giving her a look, she sighed again before leaning against the siding, watching him warily.

"You know Football Head, I feel bad for you, I really do." She baited, and Arnold bit.

"Why?" She smiled one of her sad, reserved smiles, then turned to look out at the river, and ultimately the next guy who was jumping. He was screaming like a little kid, and for some reason she took strength from that.

"You let your inhibitions shelter and prevent you from tasting life. And for that, I feel bad for you."

Arnold was stunned. How were his reservations on bungee jumping keeping him from experiencing life? He had gone on this road trip with her, hadn't he? Ever since he set foot onto his stoop Sunday morning, he has gone along with everything she's thrown at him. Most of which were not good experiences. He met her crazy friends – who, really, were cool, and they got along really well.

Alright, so, that was a good experience. But, he had gone to that Rocky Horror showing, and dressed up and everything, and where did that lead him?! Well, really, he found a movie he liked that he otherwise would have never known about. And then he had hot sex with her.

Okay, so what about the comic book store? He was hit on, and then scolded when he turned it down! But, now that he thought about it, that was kind of like a test, to see if he would bite at the first red-head that reminded him of Lila. And the bonding zombie conversation they all had over the radio, and carried on at lunch, was cool and helped him get to know his travel companions.

"Hello? Football Head? Football Head. Arnoldo. Arnold! Hey, where you at man?" Helga was waving her hand in front of his face, slightly nervous. He had zoned out the minute she mentioned inhibitions, and she was afraid she chased him off prematurely.

"What? Sorry, I was just thinking that, you know, how many people do you can say that they've bungee jumped with near strangers?" Helga's eyes lit up and began to glitter dangerously as she smirked.

"Are you saying that you're willing to bungee jump?" Her hands were on her hips, and Arnold held out his right hand as if asking her to dance.

"Only if you jump with me." The two shared a smile, and Helga delicately set her hand in his.

"I thought you'd never ask. Hey, Kari! We're doin' a double!" Helga led him towards the side of the bridge, and helped get the harnesses attached.

As they stood on the outside of the railing, Arnold looked off the side of the bridge, and paled.

"Helga, I don't think I can do this." She smiled and kissed his forehead, ignoring the twinge of pain when he gripped her waist fiercely.

"Don't worry Arnold. I'll be here with you the whole time – it'll be just like flying." Arnold looked at her with a surprised expression. She called him Arnold. When was the last time she called him Arnold? Well, she had called him by his name two minutes ago, but with that tone of voice? It was on the plane; he was freaked out then too, and she soothed him. Just like now.

Arnold smiled and nodded, squeezing her reassuringly.

"Yea, I can do this. Let's do it." Helga smirked, and just when he was about to change his mind again, she leaned over just enough to send them over the edge and down.

***

"Holy _**SHIT**_!" Arnold screamed, while Helga laughed manically into the air rushing by them insanely fast. As their cord tightened for the first time, and they bounced back, Arnold was afraid he was going to lose his breakfast.

"Oh God." He groaned as the cord's slack ran out, and they rushed towards the river again. Biting back the urge to close his eyes, he instead focused on Helga, her giggling as she bit her lips in delight. She selected that moment to look up, and catch his gaze. She smiled, and soon their laughter could be heard from below the bridge.

As they began to sway softly, Helga kissed him softly on the lips. The sight he received when she pulled away was one he will try to remember forever. Her hair looked like it was defying gravity, her cheeks flushed from excitement.

"Hey, Arnold?" She began, and he was amazed not only at the lack of nickname, but also how soft her voice was.

"Yea, Helga?" Her gaze didn't waver as she looked him straight in the eye, and showed him one of the most beautiful smiles he had ever seen.

"I'm glad you decided to jump." Arnold thought about it for a moment, before smiling in return.

"Yea, so am I."

The moment would have led to another kiss, but Helga's eyes suddenly grew wide, and she let out a chuckle. He was about to ask what was so funny, when he felt his crotch vibrating.

"Sorry, my crotch is vibrating; you can feel it too, huh? Can you hear it?" She asked, and both were silent for a moment, before Arnold heard it. It was faint, but still very clear.

"_It's just a jump to the left! And then a step to the right! With your hands on your hips and bring your knees in tight! But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane! Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!_"

Arnold laughed as Helga sang along with her ring tone.

"_Let's do the Time Warp again; let's do the Time Warp again _. . _." _she muttered softly into his ear. Suddenly, she pulled away, eyes wide in surprise.

"Oh, _**crap**_ . . ." Again, Arnold was confused, but was answered when Helga looked up – which was really down – and watched as a green circle dropped towards the river. The two watched it fall, until they couldn't see it anymore, before facing each other once more. Suddenly, Helga smirked.

"Damn, those were my favorite mints." Silence enveloped them again, before they both started laughing uncontrollably.

And that was how Mark found them a minute later.

HA

"_It's just a jump to the left! And then a step to the right! With your hands on your hips and bring your KNEES IN TIGHT! BUT IT'S THE PELVIC THRUST THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSANE! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!_" Helga pulled her phone out of her pocket the second the two were back on the stable side of the bridge. Arnold laughed at the sight they presented: conjoined at the groins, with Helga talking on her phone and Arnold's hands supporting his lower back.

"Hello? OH, hey! Yea, we're in San Francisco now, you want us to stop by? Uh-huh; oh really? Well, I'm excited to hear the news. Yea, we'll be there in awhile. Yup, love you too, bye sweetie." She laughed, and kissed Arnold as she unhooked them from the harnesses.

"So, who was that? Some friend you met once, and are going to skydive with?" He joked, to which she smirked and laughed sarcastically.

"No, oh smart one, my sister. She lives in Half Moon Bay with her boyfriend; she wants us to stop by for a visit." Arnold was taken aback at her answer: didn't she hate her sister? Didn't Helga blame her for the lack of attention from their parents growing up?

"But, I thought you hated your sister." He pointed out as he watched her put the camcorder back in her bag, then turn back to him.

"No, we worked that out back during her second year of college. She had a 'life changing experience', and decided that we needed to reconnect. And so we did, and have, and are pretty close." She explained as she made her way towards the group on the bridge.

"Well guys, it's been copacetic, but we're gonna meet up with my sister." She announced, before being enveloped in a series of voices.

"Aww, why?"

"We just got started!"

"Cell phone number so we can keep in touch!"

"Your sister single?"

The last one made her laugh, and sent Mark a head shake with a pantomimed 'No'. He visibly slumped, but looked relatively happy nonetheless. Tom stepped forward to shake their hands, disappointed but happy anyways.

"So, where does your sister live?" he asked as the others rushed up to hug her, and Arnold would have been wary of traveling hands, but found himself in the same hug.

"Half Moon Bay." Helga answered, laughing when she felt Kari clutch at her ass, before groping around until she found Helga's cell phone. Quickly whipping it out, they all passed it around so they could enter in their own numbers. Before Arnold could protest, Jack had already found _**his**_ phone, and was also passing it around.

"Hey Arnold, what's your number?" Mark asked as he handed the blonde back his cell phone.

"360.609.6861." For some reason, he felt comfortable giving them his number. Somewhere deep inside, he figured it was because you never know when they might come in handy.

"And Helga? Lay it on us baby." Kari prompted as she returned Helga's phone into her back pocket.

Helga rolled her eyes, but smirked. They were gonna freak.

"360.867.5309."

Everyone was silent, and looked at her for a moment, before laughing.

"That's a good one, Helga! Now really, what's your number?"

Helga raised her eyebrows, but wouldn't give in.

"Call it."

They all looked to Arnold, who shrugged and dialed her number. It suddenly occurred him that even though they were boyfriend and girlfriend, he didn't have her number.

"_It's just a jump to the left! And then a step to the right! With your hands on your hips and bring your KNEES IN TIGHT! BUT IT'S THE PELVIC THRUST THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSANE! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!_" Helga pulled out her phone, rejected the call, but entered in some info before snapping a picture of Arnold. Holding the phone out for the closest people to see; they read the screen and laughed.

_**Oblong King**_. Next to his photo. Arnold growled, but took it all in good humor as she clicked his number, initiating a call. They all waited a few seconds, before they heard a an accordion playing the _Super Mario Theme _from the old game, before melding into _Speak Softly Love_, and then _Chariots of Fire_. It was longer than a lot of ring tone downloads, and the audio quality was mediocre, hinting that is was a self created ring tone, but everyone smiled at the creativeness of it. Arnold shrugged, but smiled and held up his phone to read.

"Yup. _**Unknown Number**_, 360.867.5309." Arnold also rejected the call, but snapped a quick photo of her, before punching in some stuff. He held it out for her to read, and everyone else snuck a look as well.

_**Pink Bow Queen**_. He smirked, and Helga laughed before pulling him to her, their mouths molding together in a form of amusement and affection. No one else understood the name, but thought the kiss was cute anyway, and were cooing at the couple by the time they separated. Helga smirked, before pulling Arnold by the hand towards her Mustang.

"I promise we'll keep in contact, but we really gotta go. Later!" The others stood waving for a few moments, but had swiftly returned to bungee jumping by the time the two blondes took off down the road.

***

Arnold was not terribly surprised when he found Helga pull into the driveway of a modest-sized, pale yellow house that looked just like all the others on the block. Helga had warned him on the way over that Olga lived in Suburbia's Suburbia, but he had thought she was joking. Apparently, she was serious.

The only thing that really stood out against the rest of the neighborhood was the garden in the front yard. It was popping with poppies, tulips, and several bush and tree flowers – most of which Arnold didn't know the names of. All he knew were poppies and tulips.

"AWW! BABY SISTER!!" The shout rang throughout the neighborhood, disturbing the silence; but neither sister really cared.

"Hi Olga." Helga greeted as she watched her sister's head appeared from behind one of the bushes, her own blonde hair the same length as her own. Arnold was amazed at how they resembled each other, watching them embrace with the care from not seeing one another for some time. He felt a twinge of jealousy at not having a sibling to hug like that, but quickly shoved it aside when Olga rushed forward to hug him as well.

"And Arnold! I haven't seen you in forever! Oh, you two have grown up so fast! It feels like only yesterday I was interning with Mr. Simmons' fourth grade class, and now here you are – my baby sister and her boyfriend. Oh!" she squealed in delight as she hugged them again, even more fiercely than before. Suddenly, she found herself, and pulled them both towards her front door.

"Well, come inside. I'll make you both something to drink, and eat if you like . . ." she began to ramble on about what she could make them, and how excited she was to have her baby sister visiting. Arnold looked at Helga with amusement clearly writing on his face. Helga smirked, but said nothing as the three of them entered the house, where Olga took them straight to the living room.

"Now you just sit here, and I'll go get us something to snack on, and then we'll all catch up!" She was so excited, that Helga could only smile at her sister.

Arnold looked around, astonished at the feeling of warmth and love the room gave off. Against one wall was an old looking brown piano, with picture frames and music books weighing it down. Among the photo-frames, there was an old shelf clock and two pinkish, tall candles in Roman pillar holders.

Bit by a sudden interest, Arnold stood from the couch and walked over to the music maker, observing the photos all along the top.

There was what appeared to be a soldier in Korea, all decked out in his uniform. Next to him was Helga's school picture from last year, smiling cleverly at the camera. Then there was a double frame, one side had a woman, the other had a man, and they seemed to be looking at each other. There was also an old black and white photo of a woman in a 1940s dress, standing in a living room; followed by a candid picture of Olga and a clean cut looking man in what appeared the be a southwestern desert. The last two pictures were family photos – one was just Olga and Helga standing back to back in an obvious pose; the other had Mr. and Mrs. Pataki sitting in chairs, with Helga and Olga behind them.

On the music ledge there were all sorts of books, but the one on the front was _Speak Softly Love_.

"Your sister play?" Helga looked up from the photo she was holding, and smiled when she saw him indicate the piano.

"I'll let you be the judge of that." Her smile softened when Olga bustled back into the room, carrying a tray of ciabatta bread, spinach dip and three glasses of iced green tea. As Helga tore a piece of bread, she motioned towards the piano.

"Olga, Football Head here wants to know if you can play." Olga smiled charmingly and nodded, scooting over to the piano.

"I play a little, I usually prefer Baby Sister sing along so she can cover my mistakes." She giggled, then opened the first book she grabbed – _Speak Softly Love_. After a few false notes, she found the right cord, and the music began to flow.

Arnold watched with fascination as she swayed back and forth when she played well, and leaned forward to plunk at the keys when she messed up. Helga sat next to him, rocking softly even through the mistakes, humming along and even singing now and again. He watched her, eyes closed, eerily similar to her sister, and was struck with how she had changed.

_She's certainly not the same girl I once knew. Trill-seeking, reconciling with her sister, she just never ceases to amaze me._

Once Olga finished the song, Helga clapped, motioning Arnold to do the same. They both smiled when the elder Pataki turned to smile at them, glowing with acceptance.

"Hey, Olga, what was it you wanted to tell me?" Olga's smile grew as she walked over and sat never to her sister, taking her left hand and grazing her thumb over their Great Grandmother's engagement ring.

"You still wear this, huh, Baby Sister?" Helga grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry; I forgot how much you loved it."

Olga only glowed as she shook her head, her smile looking like it caused her face pain.

"I don't need to wear it any more. I have my own." she then stuck out her left hand to show Helga a new engagement ring sitting on her ring finger.

"Oh my _**God**_! Olga!" Helga gasped and grabbed her hand, yanking her forward so forcefully that Arnold laughed, before leaning forward to get a look at it.

"Yes, Dan finally proposed! We're having the wedding in two weeks – just a small ceremony with family and friends, nothing big." Helga could only nodded, before looking at her sister sharply.

"Do Bob and Miriam know yet?" she asked pointedly, and Olga shook her head.

"No, I wanted to tell you first; I'll call Mom and Dad first thing in the morning." Helga smiled, and hugged her sister again, before the three settled into an easy conversation that lasted throughout the early afternoon and clear past lunch.

HA


	11. The Ink and The Wave

_**Disclaimer: Come on, guys! Give me some of your wild and crazy, completely unrealistic theories on how this ends! That's half the fun for me, reading the reviews and what you think is going to happen. Oh well, if you don't want to, than don't. Hey Arnold and everything that entails has not, does not, will not, and never will belong to me. So with that out of the way; Let the Show, Begin! Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

Helga pulled out of her sister's driveway, with no real destination in mind. Arnold sat beside her, watching as she mindlessly made random turns and took unknown side streets.

"Where're we going?" he asked, subconsciously bopping his head to the music that filtered through her speakers.

"I dunno. Just feel the pull, ya know?" she looked at him with a smirk, and he nodded with a smile. The 'pull' was something he knew all about. It led him to her – he was not going to underestimate it.

"So, will we start working north tonight?" Arnold spoke again, and Helga sighed, shaking her head, then pulled onto a small side street. She stepped out of the car, and he followed, curious as to why she pulled over.

"Nah, Olga wants us to stay with her and Dan for the night, and we can head straight home tomorrow." Arnold nodded his understanding, finally looking at the shop they were entering.

_Johnni's Tattoo Parlor_.

"Uh, Helga, what're we doing here?" he stalled her at the door, to which she looked up at the pink neon sign, and smirked.

"What do you _**think**_ we're doing here, Football Head?" was her cryptic reply as she entered the door she was holding open. Arnold let loose an acerbated sigh, but shrugged and entered the tattoo parlor after her. He found her at the counter, exactly how she was at the sink brushing her teeth, looking over a book of tattoos.

"So, this'll be your first ink job, right?" the man behind the counter asked, to which Helga nodded absentmindedly while motioning for Arnold to join her.

"Yup, I don't know about Arnoldo here, but I know exactly what I want." The man smirked at her determination, then motioned for her to follow him to the back room.

"Well then, my name is Ivan, and I will be your Tattoo Artist for this evening." Helga replied with her own smirk, signaling Arnold to come with her. Somehow, Arnold felt the need to follow – not because he was worried for her safety, but merely because he was overly curious.

Ivan had Helga sit on the bed that reminded both teens of an evolved dentist's chair. Immediately, Helga pulled her jeans down to expose her hip bone, ready to tell the man what she wanted done.

"I would like palm-sized peace sign, with a banner waving through it that says 'The Word'." Needless to say, Ivan was amazed. Most girls her age wanted something feminine, like a heart or a butterfly; or, if they came in with their boyfriends like Helga did, they wanted each other's names.

"Well, before I get started, I'm going to need you to sign a waver."

"Of course."

***

Several hours and one modest bill later, Helga had her peace-adorn hip under a bandage, and was trying to convince Arnold getting a tattoo is not so bad if he gets the right one.

"Come on, Football Head, it can be on your one of your triceps, and it doesn't have to be that big."

But Arnold wasn't having any of it; that is, until Helga sighed, and looked at him somberly.

"Will you at least hear out my idea, Arnold? I think you might actually like it." That caught his attention, and soon Arnold and Ivan were leaning over Helga's shoulders, watching as she poorly sketched out what she had in mind.

A French style cross with a banner across the long part; inside the banner simply read 'Miles + Stella'. Looking over it, Arnold nearly choked, and when Helga and Ivan turned to him, he couldn't speak, only nod.

_Helga . . . how did she, does she . . . ?_

He couldn't finish the thought, for as soon as he tried, he looked at her, and she had this knowing and compassionate smile on her face. He swooped in to kiss her, and she could feel the care on his lips.

"Okay." Was all he said as he followed Ivan into the back room, signed the waver, and lifted up his right-arm sleeve.

Another couple hours later, and Arnold and Helga were standing at the counter thanking Ivan for the wonderful work he did. On a whim, Helga spotted a clock on the far wall, and gasped.

"Shit! Is that the time? Ivan, nice work again, but Arnold and I need to hit the beach to keep an appointment we have. Just put his ink on my bill." She shouted over her shoulder as she dragged Arnold out but his wrist. As she let go to unlock her car, Arnold leaned against his door.

"Helga, why did you pay for my tattoo?" She just looked at him with a smile, before unlocking and opening her door.

"Think of it as an apology gift for all the times I was mean to you, and all the stuff I'm putting you through on our little trip." She explained as she benevolently slid into the driver's seat. Arnold was stunned for another moment longer, before smiling and climbing into the seat beside her.

"So, why are we going to the beach?" She smirked, allowing the casual street signs to guide her to her destination.

"Dan said he could teach us how to surf before we head out – and since we leave tomorrow morning, Dan and Olga decided tonight would be best." Arnold looked at her stunned for a moment, before smiling and taking her hand from the shifter.

"And how is it this is the first time I'm hearing of this?" Her smirk grew crafty at his question, before parking in an empty parking spot in the lot over-looking the beach. She didn't answer him until she had already removed herself from the car, and bent back in to address him.

"Because we conferred over this while you were conveniently in the bathroom." And she shut the door. Arnold thought that sentence over for a moment, before laughing and removing himself from the car as well. Following her down the provided path, he stumbled a few times before reaching the other three. Olga was in a suit, laying on a beach towel and taking Helga's shirt and jeans as the younger Pataki stripped to her bra and panties. Dan sat next to Olga - clad in swim trunks – rubbing wax onto one of the boards the group had.

Taking his cue from Helga, Arnold peeled off his shirt and jeans, revealing plaid orange boxers. As he sat down to remove his socks and shoes, he heard Olga giggle, and when he looked, he found Helga smirking at him from over her sister's shoulder.

"Oh, Arnold, that is so adorable! You and Baby Sister really _**must**_ be a good couple if you match your under clothes!" She giggled again, and when Arnold finally realized what she was talking about, he blushed a deep shade of red.

Helga was wearing her traditional orange bra, but had sprung to wear orange, female underwear-shorts. Before Arnold could reply, Helga stepped over to him and moved to whisper in his ear.

"That's alright, Football Head; orange is my favorite color. Although I'd much rather see them _**off**_ you. Hey Dan, are we gonna get started or what?!" She turned to shout at her future brother-in-law, and Arnold, albeit embarrassed, was suddenly excited without a care or fear.

HA

Arnold was soaking wet and heaving as he reclined in the sand, Helga between his legs and on his chest as the four of them watched the sunset. Dan and Olga were in a near identically position, and the four surfboards were posted in the beach behind them. He began mindlessly tracing the peace sign on her hip, and she involuntarily shuddered.

With a smirk, he continued to stroke her sensitive flesh as he kissed her neck, making her gasp with pleasure. In retaliation, she began to caress his thighs with one hand, and used the other to pet his head and neck.

"Crimmney, Football Head, you sure know how to make a girl feel special."

"Mmhmm." Was the sound he made against her skin, and she giggled, running the surfing lessons through her mind again.

_**Earlier:**_

Dan had decided, with great amusement, that it would be better if Arnold and Helga were to learn how to surf on the baby surge waves that were a few feet away from breaking on the shore. For Arnold, the first few times were absolute torture, emphasized by Helga's insistence that her sister record the whole affair. For those first, tedious baby waves, he was mercilessly knocked off the board time and again.

Helga, on the other hand, seemed to have the natural ability to pick up on things. She was only forced from her board twice before she appeared to have mastered the ability to balance. Currently, after having quite a few good runs, she was resting on the beach next to her sister, videoing what was deemed Arnold's Last Run.

"Yeah, Football Head! Show that wave who's boss!" She shouted, waving an arm enthusiastically while trying to keep the camera steady on her beloved.

Spurred on by her words and a push from Dan, Arnold caught the next wave, quickly getting to his feet. It may have been a short ride, and he may have done nothing but allow the wave to carry him straight to the shore; he still felt proud as all hell when his feet touched the wet sand. Helga screamed in joy, and carefully set her camera on the blanket before rushing towards Arnold, and tackled him into the surf.

"Arnold! You did it, you stayed on the board! That was great!" she gleamed with pride, before kissing him soundly on the mouth.

Arnold was quickly discovering that the greatest and most prideful moments he was having, were with Helga.

_**Present:**_

Finally, the chilly wind from the ocean was encroaching on the group as the sun disappeared on the horizon. They had all long-since dried, but still shivered as they stood and packed, heading towards their separate cars.

"We'll see you both in a little while." Olga hugged them both as if they were leaving tonight. Helga smiled, and held Arnold's hand as she stopped her sister for a moment.

"Actually, Olga, we're going to go to dinner. So we'll see you a little bit later." Olga and Dan nodded, before taking off their own old little Volvo. Well, Dan climbed in; Olga stopped for a minute, then turned to look at the other pair.

"Just don't stay out too late, remember you have to leave early in the morning." The two eighteen year olds smiled at her, then each other, before climbing in Helga's car.

After driving around for fifteen minutes, they finally decided on just pulling into a Burgerville. They both ordered just burger baskets and chocolate milkshakes, before secluding themselves in a corner booth. They got to know each other more so than they had during their whole relationship. They joked about memories and futures, and decided next time they go to Burgerville they were going to play on the play structure.

Arnold had always thought that a date was supposed to be this huge ordeal, with a long wait on the girl while she was in the bathroom, flowers, and an expensive restaurant. But he found that Helga really wasn't too into the overly-impressive dates. She was content to have their first date in a cheapo burger joint, with food that was hit-or-miss amazing/crappy.

When he asked her about why she was like that, she just smirked and stole one of his French Fries, slapping it onto her burger.

"I'm like that because unlike most of the girls we know, I prefer company over cash-count." Arnold thought that over for a moment, before he smiled.

He wouldn't want their first date any other way.


	12. Déjà Vu

_**Disclaimer: Hey Arnold + Me = An Unrealistic Dream. Alright, so, I know this will crush you, Gentle Readers, but I am getting ready to wrap this up. So, the chapters may be getting longer – or they may not. I'm still willing to hear what you guys think will happen, but really, we'll all find out soon enough. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

Helga's eyes fluttered open to the cool morning sun and the birds chirping nauseatingly outside the window. Although really, she had no room to complain, seeing as she was in a rather good mood. Olga and Dan had allowed her and Arnold to sleep together, knowing that Helga respected them enough to not fool around. And they trusted Arnold's judgment, if only because Helga deemed him worthy of her affections.

And true to her sister's unspoken wishes, when Arnold and Helga arrived that night, they simply crawled into the crisp floral sheets, and cuddled into sleep. Helga smirked in self-satisfaction at how she and Arnold had been able to behave themselves all night; she stretched her stiff muscles, relishing the clear popping noise. Arnold also moved, but didn't quite wake up as she removed herself from the warm cossets they created during the night. Stretching once more, she sent a final glance at him over her shoulder, before opening the door and going downstairs to the kitchen.

The sounds of percolating coffee and sizzling bacon greeted her long after the smells of her sister's cooking hit her halfway down the stairs. She pulled up a seat at the table, sending a look at Dan, who was reading the paper and pointedly ignoring her. After she let out a few well-placed and exaggerated sighs, Dan groaned and passed her the national section of the paper, to which she quickly flipped to the politics.

_**Of course**_ she had wanted the section he was reading.

"Hey, what time is it?" Helga asked as she looked up towards her sister and future in-law. Olga sent a swift look at the counter clock, before turning back to the eggs lest they burn.

"Quarter after six. I'm surprised you're up this early, Baby Sister." She responded in surprise as Dan, with nothing to read, stood to help his fiancé with breakfast. Helga couldn't help but smile at the sight of her family bustling about the kitchen. And then she remembered the time.

"Ugh, I don't even want to know _**why**_ you two are up this early." She groaned as Dan laughed, handing Helga her favorite coffee mug. _Paris_.

"Yeah, neither do we. So, I know Olga talked to you about being the Maid of Honor – you up to the task?" He smirked as Helga slid the mug towards her, pouring in the creamer and sugar as she eyed Dan skeptically.

"If that is a challenge, you should know by now that I never back down. Besides, Olga is my sister, and I'll do anything for her; from protecting her all the way to being an Honorary Bride's Maid." She countered, taking a swig of her caffeinated hot drink. Olga turned to face the others in the kitchen with a griddle full of steaming scrambled eggs and crispy bacon.

"Yeah Dan, I never did tell you about _**how **_my engagement to that swindler Doug was broken off; you can thank Helga for that. Can you pop some toast in, hun?" She began scrapping the food into equal portions on four plates. As Dan threw the slices of bread into the toaster, Arnold entered the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Morning Football Head. Sleep well?" Helga asked as she handed him an empty _New Orleans_ mug, and pointed him in direction of the coffee maker.

"Yea, great until this morning, when I woke up cold and alone." He tossed at her playfully, and smiled when she gave him a good-morning kiss. Arnold hummed in content, and pulled her back in for another kiss for good measure when she pulled away.

"Glad to see you're harboring no ill-will. Now saddle up and grab some food; after Olga and I make the bed, we're hittin the road." Arnold laughed, and the four of them sat around the table, sharing food, coffee, conversation and good company.

***

As the two women wandered up the stairs with the clean set of sheets, Dan and Arnold followed, more out of boredom than anything else. The men stood in the doorway, watching as Olga and Helga stripped the bed. They were humming a tune together, until Helga opened her mouth.

"_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever._" She was singing towards Olga as they each took a side of the bed, and pulled the sheets off.

"_Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out. It doesn't matter much to me._" The bed was now bare, and Olga tossed the bottom sheet onto the middle of the mattress. She then took her cue from her sister, and began the next verse.

"_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever._" Both women tucked in a corner, and Arnold and Dan couldn't hold back the smiles that crossed their faces.

"_No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low. That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right. That is I think it's not too bad._" Olga continued as she then picked up the middle sheet, and the two unfolded it and then spread it.

"_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever._" Helga smirked as they spread and snapped the sheet, before tucking in the bottom corners and straightening out the top.

"_Always no sometimes think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream. I think, er No, I mean, er Yes but it's all wrong. That is I think I disagree._" The younger Pataki sang as they each took a pillow and casing. Finally, they reached the end of the song in harmony; Olga sang alto and Helga sang tenor for the pick-up.

"_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever. Strawberry Fields forever. Strawberry Fields forever._" They pulled taut the comforter, and each fell onto the bed, giggling.

HA

Olga was waving enthusiastically from the driveway, with Dan's arm around her waist as Helga pulled out and took off down the road. They had only been on the road for a few hours, before she exited the freeway and entered a small little town Arnold never heard of. She had driven on the main street a couple of blocks before he finally asked what was going on.

"You see that sign on the street lamps?" She pointed out as they did a meager twenty five. It took a minute, but Arnold finally spotted it. The sign was a obviously homemade, and looked like a giant orange triangle with a few lines in it.

"Yeah, what is it?" Helga smirked, before pulling off onto a side road that seemed to lead out of town. It quickly became apparent she was following those signs.

"They're telling anyone who knows how to look that there's a square dance." He seemed to accept that answer, nodding and looking out the window again, until they pasted another sign.

"How did you possibly get that?"

"Because, Football Head, it's _**obviously**_ two squares, and they're dancing."

Soon enough, Helga pulled into a large dirt pseudo-parking lot in front of an old barn. Old, fully restored cars from the thirties and forties littered the area; and Helga nearly joygasmed when she not only saw the cars, but hear the old-time swing come from the building. Arnold had to admit that it did sound like a square dance, and was interested to see what was happening.

Taking him by the hand, Helga entered the opened door, and smiled at the sight of young and old dancing to the sounds of a live band. Suddenly, and older looking women approached them, a smile on her dolled-up, wrinkled face.

"Hello, I'm Rosie Hought, one of the organizers for this little shindig. You kids here for the dance?" She asked, and Helga nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, I guess we are; I'm Arnold, and this is my girlfriend Helga." Arnold introduced, and each shook hands with Rosie, who then led them to one of the tables where a group of older folks were visiting. After the introductions had been made, Arnold watched as Helga's eyes sparkled with fascination as she gazed at all the dancers on the floor. Most were older than forty five, and the two couldn't believe how well they moved.

"Do you know how to polka, young miss?" One of the older gentlemen asked Helga, and she nodded with a smile.

"Care to dance, then?" He was charming, and she laughed as he held out his hand to her.

"I would love to." Was her answer as he swept her onto her feet and began twirling her around the room. Arnold was amazed at the side of Helga he was seeing, and now it was almost constantly. She was hardly judgmental, or jumped to conclusions; she was polite, if not nice to everyone they met; was making it look near effortless to try and gather new friends; and he had yet to see her scowl since they had landed Sunday.

And now as he watched her dance around the hall with an elegant smile gracing her lips as she laughed at her partner's jokes and stories and compliments, he wondered how he missed her for so long. A blush covered her cheeks as another older gentleman approached, and Helga was quickly handed off. Arnold felt a sudden rush of emotion, only a few of which he could name.

_I know I have a strong sense of affection and attraction for her, but still . . . Aren't we rushing this a bit? We've only been dating since Saturday I suppose, and we've already . . . already . . . already taken so many big steps. I don't think Gerald and Phoebe were taking things this fast, and Phoebe has been waiting for Gerald almost as long as Helga's been waiting for me. Maybe we should cool it a little. Maybe we should –_

A soft and fragile hand placed itself on Arnold shoulder, shocking him out of his thoughts. He turned his head to find Rosie smiling down at him, before nodding towards the dance floor.

"You better go ask your pretty girl to dance before she's swept off her feet by smooth charmer." She smirked, and Arnold felt like he was somehow looking at Helga in the future. But he simply smiled and thanked her, before tracking down his date; who just so happened to be talking with a nice old man who told her she reminded him of his late wife.

"May I cut in?" Arnold asked, and Helga blushed, but smirked as her partner handed her to Arnold.

"Be careful, Helga, he looks like he may have an ulterior motive." The old man warned playfully, and Helga nodded before kissing him on the cheek.

"Don't worry, Ray, I'll keep up my guard. Thank you for the dance." He chuckled, before shooing the young couple back into the thick of the dancing. Arnold swept her off her feet as the band picked up a beat, and began playing a song great for the Charleston.

"_Oh, beat me, daddy, eight to the bar . . ._" And the piano continued, until the brass joined, before the vocals. Helga just laughed, and Arnold tapped his foot to give her his count, subsequently pulling her to him and they twirled quickly about the room.

Helga's laughter mingled with the other voices in the hall as the two forgot everything except the music, the steps, and their partner. For a good five minutes they all danced like this, until the song ended and everyone was pink and sweaty. Arnold escorted Helga back to their table, where she grabbed a stiff napkin to fan herself and a glass of water to cool her core temperature. Arnold flopped down next to her, and the two shared a look, before bursting into laughter. The moment was ruined, however, when a familiar sound could be heard.

"_It's just a jump to the left! And then a step to the right! With your hands on your hips and bring your knees in tight! But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane! Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!_" She hastily pulled her orange device from her pocket and answered briskly.

"Hello? Oh, hey Lauren, how's it going? What? Oh, my baby! Alright, I suppose if we haul ass we can make it there by tonight. Uh-huh, sure thing. Bye hun." Helga stuffed her cell phone back into her pocket, turning to Arnold in the process.

"Benny's depressed, I haven't left him in someone else's care for this long. You ok with making it home by tonight?" She sounded disappointed, but still fiercely devoted to the well-being of her canine companion.

"Absolutely. Let's go."

So, after a few fond farewells from the older folks who they had danced with, the two managed to make it to the Mustang, and back from whence they came – at least until they found the freeway.

HA

True to Helga's word, they had only stopped a few more times for food/gas/bathroom, and arrived in Hillwood wall after dusk. As they pulled up in front of the boarding house and got out, they were content to just sit on the stoop in the abnormally warm April twilight. They were silent, and Arnold noticed Helga fiddling with something around her neck.

"Hey, what's that?" She looked down at the chain around her finger, then sighed and held it up for him to see.

"It's my locket, I've had it since fourth grade." She removed it from her neck and handed it to him so he could look at it.

"Guess whose picture is in it?" she added on a whim, and Arnold popped it open to find his most recent school photo inside. He smiled at her adoration, before placing it around her neck, then positioning it over her heart so he could kiss it.

"Geez Football Head, could you get anymore sappy?" She smirked playfully, and would have added more, had he not silenced her with a kiss.

"See you on Monday?" he breathed when they parted, and she nodded with a smile.

"Till then, my Pink Bow Queen." They stood, and he kissed her hand.

"Till then, my Oblong King." She replied, and he waited until she had gotten into her car and driven off before opening the door. Skillfully avoiding the wave of animals that emerged, he entered the building and - after a quick debriefing with the boarders who were conveniently seated around the table – fled to his bedroom.

He had a lot to think about.

***

Monday had arrived, and all of their friends sat around the table at lunch, gossiping about what had happened over spring break. Of course, the story that was even bigger than Arnold and Helga, was Rhonda and Curly. In truth, everyone had suspected both, but never _**expected**_ either.

Arnold had thought long and hard about several different things with the last of his break, and had come to a conclusion about all of them. Sitting next to Helga, he kissed her – stealing her bite of burger in the process – and waited for an opportunity to ask her something.

"Hey Helga, would you like to go to the park today after classes?" She looked at him for a moment, then nodded, kissing him in return.

And so, the rest of the day was ordinary in every way. Mr. Johnson had assigned a six page research paper for his seniors the previous Friday, and so only a select few – Helga, Phoebe and Arnold included – had _**actually**_ done it. He had also decided to extend theatre rehearsal after school by twenty minutes because everyone who was not a senior forgot a good portion of their lines. Arnold waited for Helga, watching the company rehearse for as long as it took until Mr. Johnson deemed them worthy enough to leave.

"Ready?" he asked as he helped her pack her bag, then held out his hand. Seeing as Arnold had picked up Helga for school today, it was only natural that they went to his car; and straight to the park from school.

They ended up sitting on the swings, talking and laughing until Arnold suddenly became quiet.

"Football Head? What's wrong?" she asked, and he looked at her somberly. She knew it couldn't be good.

"Helga, I really feel like we've been rushing this too much. I really like you, but we're going so fast I can't get my bearings straight, which is why . . ." he trailed off, and she instantly knew what he was going to say. She had known the moment he said her name. She had known the minute he asked if she wanted to go to the park.

_Oh God, here it is._

"Which is why I think we should take a break for a little while."

He had expected her to yell at him, scream at him, threaten him with Ol' Betsy and the Five Avengers. When she said nothing, he turned slowly to look at her, and what he found scared him even more than what he _**had**_ expected.

She wasn't looking at him, she had he gaze set on something he couldn't see; her eyes seemed far away. When he was about to say something, she let loose a sigh, and turned to him slowly. She was smirking, but her eyes held anything but humor.

"That's . . . ok. I really didn't hope for anything different. Hardly any high school romances last – and you and me? We are just too different." She resigned, and Arnold had a hard time holding in a gasp.

_How is she just ok with it? After all we've been through the past few days?_

"But Helga, the past few days -" She silenced him with her hand, her smirk growing.

"Don't worry, Football Head. Consider this a seven-day risk-free trial." Arnold couldn't believe what she just told him, but, knowing Helga like he did, he knew there was no arguing her. So he just stood and looked down at her.

"You ok to make it home?" he asked, and she actually turned her smirk into a smile.

"Yes, Arnold, I'll be fine. I have my stuff, and the apartment isn't too far of a walk from here." Seeing the look on his face, she laughed, although it seemed rather hallow to Arnold.

"Don't worry Football Head, we'll still be friends after this. I mean, it's not like we're not allowed to talk to each other, and expect to hate each other, right? Things just, didn't work out." She told him, and he nodded, managing a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Yeah, you're right. See you tomorrow, Helga."

"Later, Football Head."

She watched him walk away, and didn't fail to notice that he walked in the direction of a bench which held a pretty little red head. Helga closed her eyes, and took a cleansing breath.

_Now why in the hell does this feel like déjà vu?_ She chuckled darkly at how well the memories from last time she was here synced up with her current situation.

Slowly, she found the will to stand and shoulder her pack. With another cleansing breath, she calmly removed her locket, and set it on the seat of the swing before turning her back on it and walking slowly towards her home.

She managed it with only two short and self-reprimanded glances back.


	13. Oh No

_**Disclaimer: I know, predictable much? Well, if you thought that it **_was not_**, then this next chapter will freak you out! Right, don't own Hey Arnold – if I did it would still be on the air! And a special thanks to Pyrex Shards for the intro to the song briefly mentioned. Read, Review, Spread the word, and PLEASE DON'T LYNCH ME!**_

HA

Helga sat on the couch with Lauren cuddling on one side, Jude on the other, and Benny strewn out across her feet. They were all watching the cable T.V. guide channel circle around again and again, but weren't really watching it. Suddenly, Helga took another cleansing breath to stop herself from sobbing, but it didn't quite work. It seemed as though the breath allowed tears to escape, which made the two flanking her side immediately sit up, ready to comfort.

"Damn, and this day started out so well." She whispered brokenly, and Lauren pulled the heartsick girl towards her, cradling Helga's head against her chest.

"Oh, it's ok honey; he's just an idiot, right Jude?" Seizing the opportunity to help his friend, Jude began stoking Helga's back.

"That's right Helga. He didn't know a great thing when he had it, and now you have to suffer for it. How about we take you out tonight, and you try to forget him?" Helga snorted, but the two couldn't tell if it was from laughter or her tears.

"I've been in love with him since pre-school; I don't think a night out will make me forget. You wanna know the worst part?" Lauren and Jude nodded, although it all sounded pretty crappy, they couldn't imagine it being any worse.

That is, until Helga pulled out a clear CD case with a disk inside.

"I was going to give this to him today. It's a copy of the videos we had on the trip – all spliced together. I even added music and edited them together, so it's like a real movie, you know? I was hoping he would take it and see what I saw, and maybe help him warm up to the 'spontaneity' idea. Guess not, right?" this time she did laugh, but it did nothing to ease spirits. In fact, Lauren felt just as broken as Helga and Jude thought he was going to be physically sick.

Suddenly, Phoebe came bursting through the door, and walked quickly towards her friends on the couch.

"Oh Helga, I just got your message. I'm so sorry, and I just can't believe Arnold wanted to end it so quickly! If you want, I can run him over, or beat him with one of my many instruments." She offered, and Helga finally let out a true, although unhappy laugh.

"But Phoebe, he's our friend – and your boyfriend's best friend." Helga pointed out, and Phoebe took on an expression few had ever seen.

"So? Helga, you're happiness is far more important than those kinds of politics." Helga smiled, and held her arms open for Phoebe to join the pity party. After a minute or two of the hugging, Helga pulled away with a determined look in her eye.

"Well, I'm not going to let this get me down, but I have let it influence my decision." If it were anyone other than the three standing with her, they would have been confused. But, being who they were, they were shocked at Helga's sudden choice, and even angrier at Arnold for pushing her to it.

Before anyone could say otherwise, Helga had pulled out her cell phone, and began dialing a number to deliver an answer they all dreaded. Three rings later, Helga smiled at the pick up.

"Olga? Hey, it's Helga. I just wanted to know, does that offer still stand?"

***

On the verge of four weeks later, Arnold was sitting in the middle row of the high school auditorium, watching _Arsenic and Old Lace_. He had to admit, he felt slightly guilty as he watched Helga on stage – he knew how attached she was to him. But he felt like they were moving much to fast. And then, three days after he and Helga called it quits, Lila had asked if he wanted to go see _Phantom of the Opera_ with her that weekend.

They had been spotted together ever since.

Although he and Helga were still good friends and she had been adamant that they attend the showing in a few weeks, but she had been acting aloof since then. And then they had that strange run in a short time ago . . .

_**Two Weeks Ago:**_

Arnold was heading to Mr. Johnson's room for lunch to catch up on his T.A. work, because that morning he had been held up in the hallway by Lila and her talented tongue. Not that he told Mr. Johnson that; simply that traffic was crazy, and that he would grade during lunch.

And so he stood outside the door, about to open it, when he heard voices. It was definitely Mr. Johnson and Helga, but he couldn't hear what they were saying, except for 'reference'. Deciding now was as good a time as any to enter, Arnold had his hand on the doorknob, when it suddenly opened to reveal a somber looking Helga.

"Oh, hey Football Head, what are you doing here?" she asked, and he stole a quick glance at the official looking paper in her hand before returning to her eyes.

"Just gonna catch up on some grading. You?" he leaned against the doorframe, and she smiled at his curiosity.

"Just getting a reference from J." Arnold looked perplexed, and she waved the paper in front of him to prove her point.

"But, I thought C.B. told us we didn't need those until next month?" she smirked mysteriously, before brushing past him.

"Yeah, well, no harm in getting ahead, right? By the way, don't forget to go to the show; bring Lila, she'll love it."

And with that, she disappeared down the hallway.

_**Present:**_

Arnold was past the point of confusion now. It seemed like ever since he and Helga split, he's trapped in her frame of mind. He's tried taking Lila to Burgerville for a date, but she insisted on going to some French restaurant that seemed familiar to him like _**normal **_couples. As if anything other than that was abnormal.

_So was the date Helga and I went on abnormal? Were we an abnormal couple? Well, I suppose we were, but we had a ton of fun for the short time we were together, and – whoa! Stop thinking about Helga! You're with Lila now!_

He tried to take her on drives, but she only told him over and over again all the things that could go wrong. They could be car jacked, or get lost, and end up raped both times. Arnold was certain that half the trip he and Helga were on, they were lost.

_I wonder if this is how Helga felt with me when I was so uncertain about nearly everything. It was fun though, I hate to say. Wait, why would I hate to say it? She is my girlfriend, it's only right we had fun. Did I say she is my girlfriend? I meant at the time. And she's still my friend._

And then there was the time when Lila had gone to the pool with him, and nearly died at the sight she found.

_**At The Pool, Three Days Earlier:**_

Arnold had just emerged from the men's locker room, and was instantly met with a high pitch squeal coming from his right. Turning, he found Lila standing stark white, and pointing at his arm.

"_**Arnold!**_ You have a _**tattoo**_! When on _**earth**_ did you get a _**tattoo**_?!" she rushed over, and pulled him to one of the benches. Arnold could still hear her voice echoing around the inside of the building, but tried to ignore the feeling it gave him.

"I got it during spring break in San Francisco." He explained, and she lightly traced the design of it. Suddenly she looked up at him, and smiled.

"I don't think I would ever get a tattoo, no mater what it was." Arnold nodded with her, understanding the position she held.

"Yeah, neither did I until Helga had shown me what she drew."

"Oh, Helga designed it! Oh, how cute!" she looked at it for a moment longer, before giving him a thoughtful expression.

"Tell me Arnold, who are Miles and Stella?"

Arnold felt his stomach drop. Hadn't he told her about his parents? He was sure everyone had known by now – maybe she was just never there? Well, whatever the case, Arnold was willing to forgive.

"Miles and Stella were my parents." He told her, and she smiled brilliantly. Arnold couldn't help but feel that maybe the chlorine was getting to him.

_**Present:**_

Now Arnold was beginning to regret starting to date Lila. It was obvious she knew less about him than he thought. Helga, Helga knew him so well, it was almost scary. Thinking back to all the moments he had with Lila, he couldn't help but feel turned off.

He was quickly pulled from his thought by the sound of applause. Looking up, he found that the whole cast was on stage were taking a few bows, and then, after the actors who played Abby and Martha had been the center of the cheers, Helga was shoved out front. She smirked and took a bow, before motioning to Mr. Johnson, who decided to take a minor role in the play. They then motioned to the light techs and stage managers, before taking a final bow and exiting the stage.

Today was the final night of the performance, and all of their friends who weren't in the play swarmed around Helga, telling her how beautiful she looked and how amazing the play was. After a few minutes of standing on the sidelines, Arnold watched Helga approach him, and he smiled when she enveloped him in a hug.

"Great job Helga, you were amazing." She smirked, but it quickly faded.

"Yeah, it was great. I want to stay and chat more with everyone but I really can't." Arnold questioned her with a glance, and she replied without even seeing the look.

"My sister's wedding is tomorrow, so I'm flying down with her tonight." Arnold nodded, and handed her a yellow rose.

"Well, you really were amazing." She smiled and kissed his cheek, before thanking him and walking away. For some reason, Arnold had a sinking feeling as he watched her retreating back.

Turning back towards the bleachers, he decided he really needed to talk to Lila.

HA

"What?" Lila's meager shout barely resounded throughout the park as Arnold faced her near the swings.

"I said, I think that this isn't working. At all. I really feel like I shouldn't have given up on Helga so quickly, or at least jumped into a relationship with you straight afterwards." Arnold was trying to be civil and nearly jumped when Lila laughed. She actually laughed.

"I should have known – you always seemed to have short-lasting girlfriends. At least I lasted longer than Helga, if that's saying anything. I really like you though, so I don't know if it's fair."

"Arnold, I like you, and because I like you, I'm going to give you some advice: When Helga gets back, convince her to try what you two had again. You were great together, as much as it hurts me to say. Way better than we ever would have been." She kissed him softly on the lips, then walked away. To say that Arnold was shocked would be an understatement.

_Did I get dumped? I thought I was the one trying to break it off . . . I really do like Helga, I'm always thinking about her – maybe we should try again._

Arnold sauntered over to the swing sets and plopped down, swaying back and forth with his feet scrapping the bark dust. Suddenly, with the help of the dusk-rays, he caught sight of a gold glint. With mild curiosity, he bent over to pick the object off the ground – only to be hit with a metaphoric punch to the gut.

_Is this? No, it can't be, it just can't be._ Slowly, Arnold popped open the small gold locket in his hand, and found his own picture staring back.

_Oh no._

Swiftly he ran towards Helga's apartment, quite literally as fast as his feet could carry him. Fear clenched his heart at the thought of Helga intentionally leaving her locket on the swings. It looked worn from the elements, and since he just saw her that afternoon, he knew she wasn't missing.

Soon, although not soon enough for Arnold, he made it to the front door of Helga's apartment, and began knocking on the door with a harsh need.

"What?!" Lauren shouted before the door was even fully open. When she saw Arnold standing there, panting and holding the locket between his finger, her instant cold eyes softened a bit.

"Arnold. Would you like to come in?" she asked politely as Jude stood up from the table he was at.

"Lauren, is Helga here? I really need to talk to her." Lauren shook her head, turning her eyes towards Helga's room.

"No, she already left for her sister's." Arnold was about to give up, when Jude stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder.

"She did have a gift for you – she was going to give it to you a few weeks ago, but decided to wait until today. It's in on her bed." Arnold nodded in thanks, and pushed open Helga's bedroom door. A gasp was all the two in the kitchen heard.

Helga's room was now complete bare, save for the mattress on the bed frame. There was really no evidence of his blonde haired desire and her dog ever living there – well, except for a clear CD case with a blank, burnt CD in the middle of the mattress. Slowly, Arnold reached out and picked it up, holding it as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

When he emerged from the bedroom, Jude and Lauren were in the same place they were earlier.

"Will she come back?" was all he could ask, and the mood of the room became worse.

"I don't think so. You should watch that DVD now. Use the player." Jude instructed, and Arnold could only nod and do as he was told. As the video started, Arnold felt his heart sink.

Before he saw anything, he heard the beginning of _Today_ by Junkie XL, and soon, he found himself watching all the adventures they had that were caught on film. He saw he and Helga bungee jumping from several angles; the tattoo shop; a few gas stations and hotel rooms; a good deal of the friends they had made; the RHPS photo was shopped in; and even the two of them dancing at the square dance. He didn't even know she brought the camera in the barn, let alone most of the candid camera angles he watched.

But it was the last scene, with the music fading, that really broke his heart. He saw himself surfing, and then the camera change positions, and then Helga tackling him into the sand and surf. At that moment, as he watched the memory from a new perspective, he felt the need to hold her, to kiss her, to never let her go.

_I am so stupid. Worse, I'm an ass. No, worse than that, I'm a stupid ass._

Once the movie was done, Arnold stood with a new air about him, and walked up to the two who were silent in the kitchen.

"I have to find her, to set this straight." He announced, and Lauren just about tackled him in fury.

"No you don't! When you told her you two needed a break, she just about _**died**_ inside! She is positive that it's all her fault, that _**she pushed you away**_! And you did nothing but date that Lila! She knew, she _**knew**_ that the second she told you about Lila's new interest in you, she had lost you. And yet she told you anyway; I know I wouldn't have, we all knew that little red head would never have the courage to say anything. Whether you know it or not, Helga's always given you a choice on if you want to stay with her or not; and when she finally thinks she's safe, because you two are back in Hillwood, what do you do? _**What did you do?!**_" She seethed, and Arnold feared for his well-being, but knew she was demanding an answer.

"I screwed it up, I know that now. I know I was a stupid, stupid, _**stupid**_ _**ass**_, but she's all I can think about, and feel incomplete without out her."

Before a breaking point could be reached, and before Lauren could jump over Jude to strangle Arnold, the three of them heard the front door shut loudly. And then Phoebe had entered the mix.

"Arnold, I don't know if you realize it or not, but Helga has loved no one _**but you**_ for the majority of her life. You may have done something quite awful to her, but you really didn't have anyway of knowing how far it would hurt her. Now, Helga has been like a zombie since you ended it, though she masks it well, so against my better judgment, I've decided to tell you what you need to hear so you can fix this. But, I will only tell you if you promise me, _**promise us**_, that you will not quit so easily. Do you agree?"

Arnold nodded, stunned at this assertive side of the normally timid Japanese woman.

"Helga has decided to move in with her sister and finish out high school in San Francisco; now of all times because the theatre company is no longer performing. When she left this afternoon with her sister, she left for good."

_Oh no._

Seeing his distress, Phoebe put a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"I have an invitation to the wedding, so Gerald and I are flying out tonight."

Arnold looked up, confused at first, but slowly realizing what she was saying.

"Are you willing to accompany us? Are you willing to fix this?"

HA


	14. Let's Do The Time Warp, Again

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Hey Arnold, but it would be copacetic if I did. Hm, smell that? Smells like a new day for Arnold and Helga. Will I let them have a Happily-Ever-Present? Will I make them the ill-fated reincarnations of any number of tragic lovers? How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? The world, my Gentle Readers, may never know. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

It was abnormally hot in the Bay Area that day, but that was just perfect for the small wedding party. Helga stood in the kitchen with her family and soon to be in-laws, slicing meat, chopping fruit and vegetables, and putting together other little finger foods for the reception. The wedding was supposed to start at noon thirty down at the beach, and because this was fully a family affair, they were the ones doing all the work.

Diane was currently running the kitchen, and it was never more clear than at that moment just how related she and Big Bob Pataki were. Helga chuckled, knowing that she should enjoy the peace treaty her family created in honor of the elder daughter's marriage. She couldn't remember the last time all the Pataki's were together like this without a serious fight.

Sure, they had their squabbles about which meat should be used, where the flowers should go, how much seating is need, and, most important of all, how much booz was required. But as for negative feelings – there were none. This really surprised Helga, because as far a traditional weddings go, this one was as traditional as politicians taking responsibility for their decisions and actions.

Suddenly, Olga entered from upstairs, and Helga felt choked up at her sister's appearance. Since they had decided to have a wedding on the beach, her sister was barefoot and wearing a soft, crème colored sundress. Helga's dress was similar, only was a pale orange instead. The groom and the best man were wearing the shirt, vest, cummerbund, and jacket of a tuxedo; yet below the waist were surf trunks and no shoes. But Helga decided long ago the priest was the coolest-dressed person there: Bermuda shorts, no shoes, red Hawaiian shirt with his Priest's Collar, and a straw sun hat to cover his balding head.

"Oh, come on everyone, it's time to hit the beach!" Olga announced, and a few family members – mostly Bob and Miriam – were surprised that she didn't care that most of the stuff wasn't finished at the house where the reception was to be held.

Helga decided, being the Honorary Maid to the Bride and all, that she would help usher people along.

"Alright people, you heard the bride! Everyone to the beach! We can finish this up after the wedding. Besides, it's close family, who'll care if we fall behind?" There were murmurs of agreement, and everyone stopped what they were doing to go to the beach; well, unless they had something perishable. Then they shoved it in the fridge before taking off.

Phoebe, who had slept in with Helga and Gerald in Helga's new room last night, casually approached her friend, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Olga looks radiant. She and Dan are lucky to have found each other." Helga nodded, her eyes glazing over with happiness for her sister, and perhaps a little sorrow for herself. But, before anything could come of it, she took Phoebe by the hand and made her way towards the door.

"Let's get going. Hey, Tall Hair Boy, hurry up! I _**will not**_ be late for my sister's wedding because of your hair-gel obsession!" She shouted good-naturedly, and Gerald quickly rushed down the stairs, taking Phoebe's other hand as Helga let her go to pull up the car.

"Do you think Arnold can fix it?" he asked his girlfriend as they watched their friend move around the corner. Phoebe thought of Arnold, waiting at the beach, and sighed.

"I hope so. I really hope so."

No more could be said, because Helga had pulled up, and the two girls shoved Gerald in the back seat before taking off towards the wedding.

***

Arnold had been jittery the whole flight down, and had immediately wanted to find Helga and talk to her. However, Phoebe had Olga - who snuck away to pick up the trio - take him to a nearby Best Western instead. He hardly slept that night; all he could think of was what he would say to Helga when he finally saw her. How could he convince her of his true feelings, when he had dismissed them so easy weeks before?

_She deserves better; better than me. She deserves someone who won't see catching up for years of unspoken affection as '__**rushing it**__'. She deserves someone who will go along with her spontaneity. Maybe I should let her find that. Find the guy perfect for her._

And as Arnold slowly let his selfishness die down, he tried to picture what life could be like for her. For some reason, he could only see Brainy showering her in all that she ought to have; and it was kind of weird for him. He pictured with absolute clarity the sight of them walking hand in hand, sharing food, kissing, kissing heavily, Helga allowing his hands to wander over her clothes, and then _**under**_ them and then –

Suddenly Arnold's stomach was filled with a raging jealousy he never felt before. It was so much stronger than previous bouts for guys with Lila, Ruth, Cecile, Summer, _**every**_ girl he had ever crushed on; he had to physically hold himself up on a chair in the hotel room.

_Like __**Hell**__ I'd let Brainy touch her in any way other than harmless friendship! Selfish or not, I will __**not**__ give Helga over so easily! She belongs with me – everyone did know it, and knows it now! Everyone but . . . me._

As that thought hit him, he slowly let himself fall onto the bed. True, he had come to this realization weeks before, about Helga's passionate feelings for him; but for some reason this time felt stronger. More real.

_Heh, don't know what you got till it's gone, huh? Man, I was such a stupid, idiotic, moronic, irrational, stupid, dense, unintelligent, thick, dim-witted, brainless, stupid, __**stupid**__ prick. I had a girl who was completely perfect for me, and a screw it up because I'm a coward. _

Sending a pitiful gaze at the nightstand alarm clock, he groaned at the red **2:30 am** that beamed back at him. Heaving a sigh, he shucked off his clothes and climbed between the sheets, lonely, depressed, and willing time to move faster. Just as he was about to waste away into dreamland, he had one more thought.

_Maybe I should have written some of this down to help me with Helga tomorrow._

HA

There was no way he was dressed for a wedding – that was painfully obvious. How were swim trunks and a t-shirt made to look like a tuxedo appropriate formal attire?

_Damn Gerald, he probably just made that up. But then, Phoebe agreed with him and she wouldn't lie to me . . . would she? No, no she wouldn't. But then – no, Arnold, focus. _

Sitting on one of the dunes, Arnold inwardly argued with himself until he decided he was just going to go back to the hotel room and change. Or, he would have, had not a long procession of cars arrived at the beach that exact moment. He quickly spotted Olga and Dan in the first car, their parents, and then he saw her. Helga was with Phoebe and Gerald, looking as beautiful as ever.

_Is she beautiful and I just never noticed, or is it because I realized just how much she means to me?_

He quickly decided it didn't matter, and was about to hide, when he saw the three of them stop, and Phoebe pointing to him. Helga looked his way, and for a moment, time stood still. Then, he watched as she approached him.

"Hey Football Head, what are you doing over here?" Her voice held nothing but good humor, and Arnold wasn't sure what to make of anything that just came form her mouth.

"Uh . . . what?" was all he managed to say, and she showed him a magnificent smile.

"The wedding is down there. Come on, Olga and Dan will be glad you showed up." And with that, she took his wrist and led him to the throng of people next to the surf. All of whom were dressed like him . . . for the most part.

As she walked with him, Helga tried to keep herself under control. When Phoebe had told her she and Gerald brought Arnold with them, Helga felt herself deflate. And then when her little Kent-Asian friend pointed to where he stood, she just wanted to leave him there.

_No, I shouldn't, Arnold is still my friend. I don't know why he followed them down here, but he's here now. I can't change it, so I better just swallow my hurt and be nice._

"Helga I -" he started, but she shushed him with another smile and stood him next to Phoebe and Gerald.

"We'll talk about it after the wedding." She told him, then went to stand next to her sister. They both held bouquets of pink-purple daisies and orange day lilies, although Olga's was considerably larger.

The wedding was surprisingly stress-less and low key. The party was hit with a few larger-than-average surges and Dan screwed up his self-written vows because he was so nervous. But nobody grew angry, and Olga even laughed and kissed him quickly after he apologized.

Once the rings were exchanged and the newly married couple kissed, everyone cheered, but made a mad dash for the cars. They all spotted the next big wave coming in.

"Olga, did you ever think that the tide would be coming in while you got married?" Everyone who heard Helga's comment laughed at the realization, and Dan swept Olga into his arms.

"No ocean can have my bride! AHHH!" he took off towards the cars, and Bob looked at the two, worried about how the crazy surfer will mess with his family's gene pool.

"Helga, I would really like to talk to you about a few things." Arnold finally spoke up as he, Helga, Gerald and Phoebe made their way to a very familiar red Mustang. Helga sighed, but looked at him anyway.

"Arnold, can it wait until the reception gets started?" Arnold growled at how she was stalling.

"But Helga -"

"Arnold, it's waited this long. I think it can wait another hour."

That was her final word, and Arnold knew better than to piss her off now, lest he wanted to walk all the way back to Olga and Dan's.

***

Helga knew she had been stalling, and still was, but at this point, she figured she had a good reason. She, being the Maid Who Defend the Bride's Honor, had to make a toast, along with the Best Man, to the happy couple. And she knew that if she talked to Arnold beforehand, she wouldn't be able to focus.

_It's all for Olga, after I make my toast, and Tim makes his, I'll steal Arnold away, and then we can talk. Until then, he's just going to have to wait._

With this new found assertiveness, Helga and Tim stood to address the group sitting in the back yard, each picking up a flute of wine. Tim turned to Helga, who nodded, and he looked at his best friend.

"Well, Dan has been my best friend since diaper days, so everyone here who knows us wouldn't be surprised to hear that I hadn't written a speech. But ha-ha to you all, because I did." Everyone laughed, and he turned his full attention to Dan and his new wife, a smile of pride on his face.

"Olga, I've told you this before, and I'll tell you again: good luck with Dan. He's a passionate, stubborn, mouthy little shit; but whenever I see him with you, he's calmer, gentler, and still mouthy – just not with you. You balance each other out in ways I couldn't ever figure, but most important, you make each other happy. And so, I wish you a happy marriage forever and a day. And I expect news a of baby I can spoil in no later than six months." As Tim finished his speech, everyone laughed, and refrained from taking sips of their alcohol until Helga had spoken.

"Olga and I never really got along until just a few years ago, but thinking about that now, it doesn't really matter. She has been and always will be my slightly annoying yet loving older sister, who I will do everything in my power to protect. Which brings me to you, Dan." The wedding partly 'awed' and 'ohh-ed' playfully as Olga elbowed her new husband.

"Relax, you're not in trouble. As Olga and I grew closer, I decided that there was no one out there who could deserve her. No man would be worthy; and then you came along. I still think no one deserves her," everyone laughed heartily at her joke, "but I now think that no one can come closer to deserving her than you. So, to the Bride and Groom! And I'm with Tim on the baby in no later than six months." Everyone raised their wine glasses and repeated the words said.

"To the Bride and Groom!"

And just like that, all formality that existed was gone, as family and friends mingled, eating food, dancing, and drinking. Helga hugged her sister and brother, smiling as she saw the tears in Olga's eyes.

"Oh, Baby Sister! That was so sweet!" Helga ended up with a pair of lips on her cheek as she pulled away to smirk at Dan

"Yeah, glad to see I meet your approval, squirt." He ruffled her hair, and she clapped him on the back.

"Yeah, well, I would have stopped this wedding if you hadn't." Everyone laughed, and Helga caught Arnold's gaze.

"Excuse me guys, but I have a few things to clear up."

The two nodded, and watched as Helga took Arnold's hand and led him to the house. Phoebe and Gerald approached the married couple, and quickly exchanged congratulations before they all began to party once more.

HA

Arnold and Helga sat in the deserted living room in what would have been silence, if it wasn't for the sounds of the party coming in from the open windows. Helga sighed, and turned to face Arnold fully.

"So, what is it you wanted to tell me, Football Head?" she asked, doubting her ability to focus. It _could_ have been because Arnold was sitting so close to her, and she was still strongly in love with him. Or it _could_ have been from the irregular wafts of fragrance coming from the combination of the bouquets that were put together and placed as a center piece on the coffee table. Or it _could_ have been both; she wasn't sure.

"Helga I . . ." he started, but for some reason could figure out what to say. What had happened to all his thoughts that wouldn't stop last night? What happened to the words he had for the jealousy and the longing?

_I __**knew**__ I should have written it down last night!_

As he looked at her, curiosity covering her face, he hoped she could unknowingly tell him what to say. But as he looked in her eyes, he was surprised to find fear, worry, hurt, betrayal, and love. There was more love in her eyes than he had ever seen.

He suddenly knew what was needed.

Lunging forward, he captured her lips in a passionate frenzy of kisses. When she didn't respond, Arnold nearly died, and was about to pull away to apologize, when he felt it. Her lips had opened to wrap around his, and her hands were sinfully gliding up and down his chest. So he kissed her harder and with more meaning than he had kissed anyone in his whole life. And then she moaned. _Oh _**God** she _**moaned**_.

Soon, they pulled apart to breathe, but Arnold kept his lips softly coupled with hers. He wouldn't break the connection for anything. They were both panting with their eyes closed, with him between her legs and her back on the couch. It was perfect.

"Oh God Helga, I don't know what I was thinking. Be mine again; please say you'll be mine again."

He felt her breath stop, and opened his eyes to find her staring at him. She smiled, and let out a soft sigh.

"Arnold, you idiot. I was always yours; from the minute you said you liked my bow." Arnold grinned his most charming boyish grin, and moved in to kiss her again, when she stopped him.

"Helga?"

Her smile faded, and she bit her lip.

"I always have been yours, Arnold, and I think I always will be, but that's not the question. The question is, will you always be mine?" Arnold sat up, helping her up as well.

_What is she talking about? Of course I'll always be her's. Why would she think – oh . . ._

Arnold suddenly remembered the conversation he had heard between Helga and Diane that first day out.

"**The truth is; I don't know what our relationship is. I mean, he knows how I have loved and do love him; and yesterday he told me he loved me in such a way that if I didn't know any better, would've sworn it was scripted." **

"**So, what's the problem then? You love him, and he loves you." **

"**Would you believe me if I said I think it's too good to be true? I mean, he had been in love with Lila since fourth grade; and suddenly, within a few weeks, he completely shifts gears and loves me?"**

"**Well, you've loved him since that first moment he helped you, so it can't be the short time, can it?"**

"**That's different. Sure, I loved him since I first saw him, but I haven't loved anyone else like I do him. He's gone from Ruth, to Cecile, to Lila, and who knows who else that he **_**hasn't**_** told me. So please, forgive my skepticism when I say I don't know if this is going to be different." **

_She's right, I've shifted gears so often that I can't blame her for her doubts. I've never given her any reason to trust my feelings in the past, and when I finally do get her to have faith in me; I dash them by running to Lila. How do I fix it? What do I do? What do I do?_

Helga was looking at him, and he quickly remembered that she was expecting an answer.

"Helga, I know that I have quite a track record of fast crushes and girlfriends, but I don't want that for you, for us. I want a long relationship; I want to be that one percent of high school romances that last." Helga smiled, but didn't say anything, so he figured he should try to seal the deal.

"Last night I couldn't sleep because all I could think of was how I should let you go to find someone else. But then I would get these pictures in my head of you being with other guys, and it made me so mad that I couldn't see straight." Helga's smile became a smirk, and Arnold allowed his hopes to rise.

"So, you want to get back together with me because you're a jealous guy?" she asked skeptically, and Arnold didn't catch it until it was too late.

"Yes! No! Helga, I just, I want, I can't, fuck! I just want to kiss you because you make me feel such emotions, and strangle you for that very reason! I don't know what to say, you have me so fucking confused!" Helga was surprised, to say the least. She knew Arnold was still a bit of a goody-goody, and didn't really curse unless he had no other way to express himself. Subtlety, her smirk became a soft smile as she leaned forward and kissed his reddening cheek.

"And that's why I'm willing to try again." Was all she said, and he faltered.

"What? I don't understand, Helga." She smiled, and caressed his cheek with a playful glint in her eyes.

"Sometimes love is how you feel right now. When you can't articulate to save your life, and want to kiss and kill at the same time." Arnold grew silent, letting her words sink in, before he took her hands in his.

"So, you're willing to try again, even though you have no idea if I can stay true?" She nodded, and he moved in to kiss her again, but was stopped once more.

"I'm not willing to try just yet, though." Arnold looked confused and strung along again, so Helga decided to explain before he self combusted.

"I never said getting me back was going to be easy, Football Head. I'm going to make you prove your love, devotion, and worth by chasing me. You're going to have to attest to your love, because I already have several times over." Arnold looked as if he was about to say something, but stopped and smirked instead, holding up her hand to kiss it.

"Alright. I can definitely do that, because you are well worth the effort. So, when does this chasing start?" He asked, and she smiled with pride.

"Right now, when you take me out to that wedding party as my escort, and shower me with all that I ought to have." He laughed at how well she knew his mind, and offered her a hand as he led her out the back door and back to the party. As soon as they entered the warm sun, Helga detached herself from his arm and went to Phoebe, Olga and Diane, who were all standing around the buffet table.

"Remember Helga, even if it's a boy." Diane told her before anyone could get a word out, and Helga blushed, but laughed good-naturedly. Olga and Phoebe didn't quite understand, but chose to ignore it. Diane had a tendency to be crazy at times.

"So, are you and Arnold back together?" Phoebe asked as they all gathered around to hear the news. Helga sent a look over her shoulder to see Arnold congratulate Dan, who was standing with Gerald and Tim. He caught her gaze, and smiled.

"No, not yet, but someday we may be." Helga explained wistfully, and the three other women rolled their eyes at Helga's typical mystery.

"Does this mean you're moving back in with Lauren and Jude?" Olga inquired, and the young Pataki girl thought about it for a minute.

"I don't know . . . I told Arnold he's going to have to chase me, and that I wasn't going to make it easy. Maybe I _**should**_ stay down here . . ." they shared a look, and Olga took that as her cue.

"You know, now that Dan and I are married, we were planning on working on that kid you and Tim demanded." Helga paled, and then laughed.

"I shouldn't be so harsh on the poor Football Head, and should make the whole 'working' thing a bit more reachable. I'll be out by the end of the week." The women let their laughter mingle with each other's, and with the rest of the guests'. Helga thought back to her decree to Arnold in the living room, and smiled.

_Just because I gave him one 'Get Out Of Jail Free Card' and one free pass, doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy on him._

She looked over at Arnold again, and when he once again caught her eye, she smirked in challenge.

_Nope, not by a long shot._

HA


	15. Epilogue

_**Disclaimer: Ah, at long last, the epilogue. The finale. The **_end_**. And after all this time, I still don't own Hey Arnold. Oh, and the next chapter is **_NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER_**. It's a list of music mentioned in both **_The Turntables_** and **_One for the Road_**; and also music that inspired me, or what I listened to while typing. I reiterate, **_IT IS NOT A CHAPTER_**. Read, Review, and Spread the word.**_

HA

_Boom. Bang. Pop. Crackle. Fizzle. _"Ohh", "Ahh", "Awe".

Start again.

This was the process that the large group on the sand went through, much like the other large groups spread out along the shore line. There was only a gentle breeze, but it was still warm, despite the close proximity to the ocean and the lack of sun. Although, when you add in the large bonfire and the dancing and the fireworks, the warmth was easily explained.

It was the fourth of July, and the friends had decided that it would be best celebrated at Long Beach, Washington, where they could light off as many fireworks as they wanted without getting in trouble. So long as they were safe.

Helga gazed about the group feeling slightly nostalgic as she looked at each face. They wouldn't get very more times together like this; college was right around the corner, and quite a few of their friends would be out of state. She herself was going to a liberal arts school with Benny in Hawaii in a few months, so who knew how long it would be before they were together like this again?

Phoebe had initially planned to go to study in Japan and Gerald to California State; but when the two got engaged, they decided on spending two years in California so Gerald could learn Japanese, and then to Japan after that. Helga didn't think she could live without her closest and longest friend, but decided it was time to start learning.

Curly and Rhonda were to go to New York together, although the pair had been so hot and cold, no one was sure if they actually would. Helga had her money on them staying together – Curly was deeply in love with Rhonda, and Rhonda could never really get rid of him. She smirked at the thought of the crazy kids they would no doubt have together. Schizophrenic Narcissists, every last one of them.

_Ok, that was a bit harsh. Rhonda's not that bad anymore and Curly has cooled it since he got with Rhonda. Maybe they really do balance each other out._

Moving on, she spotted Harold and Patty. The two had never _**officially**_ been together, but Helga was banking on getting an engagement announcement as soon as she moves into her dorm in Kauai. She was also banking on a few cute little babies from them.

Eugene and Sheena had started dating shortly after the musical number, and had been strong ever since. But because of Eugene's bad luck streak, they wanted to hold off on marriage for a time. A very, very long time.

Sid, Stinky, Iggy, and Peapod kid all tried a hand at dating Lila, only to be dumped a few weeks later. So, the three of them were kicking it as good looking, fun-loving bachelors until college. Ok, so maybe fun-loving until college.

Brainy was still hopelessly in love with Helga, until she told him her story with Arnold. He then decided to help Arnold wherever it was required; and Arnold repaid the favor by hooking him up with the Foreign Exchange Student from Finland, Braya.

Lauren and Jude were still together, and still as wacky as ever. Lauren had, in fact, taken over her father's music store when he died suddenly, and she and Helga were doing as much revamping as they had time for before Helga left. Jude had left his dish-bitch job to come and take over Helga's position, and the two were ready to take on the legacy her parents had left behind.

Nadine and Izzy were snuggled up in one of the blankets, watching Arnold, Anton, Sam, David, and Gerald setting up the next show of fireworks. They were still going strong, and Nadine had already moved down to Phoenix with Izzy to attend school.

Anton and Sam had announced some time ago that they had no intention of ever getting married, _**ever**_, and were flying to Italy next week. No one really knew why, but that was alright with them.

David had moved up to Hillwood after their graduation, and had started working on one of the sternwheelers after he acquired his food handler's and his OLCC cards. He had said he was going to use the little boat as a stepping stone to get onto some of the major cruise lines.

And as for Lila, well, she never really connected with anyone after Arnold. But she tried, and boy did _**she try**_. As Helga looked at her from across the flames, looking lonely and unhappy, she decided to walk over and cheer her up. Or, she wanted to.

But then a cute boy from one of the other bonfires came up and started talking to the lovely red head. Helga never saw a smile quite like that grace Lila's features as she nodded, and got up to join him at his bonfire.

_Who am I kidding? The girl can fend for herself._

Helga had never felt more relieved and proud than when both of her lives – the one in Phoenix and on the road, and the one in Hillwood – merged together perfectly and without seams showing. Even now, Kari, Jack, Mark, Danni, and Nikki had come up to celebrate the fourth.

Everyone, it seemed, had been lost in thought, for they all jumped when the fireworks started again. Suddenly, Arnold came and plopped down next to her.

"So, Helga, have I proven myself?" He asked, and she smiled. He had indeed done a lot to prove his willingness to stay with her. Countless times he put up with her foul moods, crazy impulsiveness, turned down cute girls who came onto him, and babysat Benny when she had to go to Hawaii for an interview. He even applied, and got into, the same school as her so they could attend together.

_New meaning to the term 'chase'. Maybe I should tell him he had proven himself a long time ago, and I have considered us dating all this time . . . Hm, it's a thought._

Her smile widen as she pulled him in for a sweet kiss. Arnold was, to say the least, surprised, but didn't fight it, and didn't stop the stupid grin that spread across his lips when she pulled away.

"You passed a long time ago. I was just waiting for you to realize it. By my count, we've been dating for quite a few months now." They shared a smirk, and Arnold fiddled for something in his pocket, before pulling it out.

"Well, that's a relief. I guess you won't think I'm rushing this if I give this to you now than, right?" He held up a silver engagement ring with a small amber gemstone in the center. She smiled, and Arnold let out a breath.

_Ok, not shot down yet._

"Helga, I decided long ago that you are the only woman I could even consider spending the rest of my life with. I never want to be away from you, and I hope you'll never make me. So, what do you say? Could you handle being married to me?" Her smile turned into a grin, and she took the ring from his hand.

"Well, Football Head, I'm afraid you're going to have to be parted from me for a short time. I'll give you my answer when you get back." His smiled faded into confusion, as she smirked a little wider.

"What? Helga, what do you mean?" She leaned into his ear, and bit his earlobe, making him moan.

"You guys caught the dune grass on fire." His eyes widened in panic as he ripped away from her.

"Shit!" Gathering Gerald, Jude, and anyone else he could, he rushed to where the sparks were catching quickly, trying to snuff out the growing flames.

Helga just laughed with the rest of the group who sat back and watched the spectacle. But only Lauren, Phoebe, and Sam caught Helga's subtle movements. How she removed her Great Grandmother's engagement ring and slid it onto her left thumb, to make room for a new and more personal ring.

HA


	16. Thank You and Come Again!

So, here it is: the music list I promised. These aren't in any particular order, and they are from both Hey Arnold fics. I hope everyone enjoyed my stories, and will now try reading a few of my other ones. Or not. It's up to you I suppose.

**Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy** ~ The Andrews Sisters

**Time Warp** ~ Little Nell

**Stardust **~ Ella Fitzgerald

**Goodnight, My Love** ~ Ella Fitzgerald

**Hey Pachuco (Album Version)** ~ Royal Crown Revue

**Strawberry Fields Forever** ~ The Beatles

**Sweet Transvestite** ~ Tim Curry

**California Dreamin' (Rave Techno Remix)** ~ Benny Benassi

**Ballroom Blitz** ~ Sweet

**Crazy Train** ~ Ozzy Osbourne

**Saint Simon (Album)** ~ The Shins

**Funplex** ~B-52's

**Escape (The Pina Colada Song)** ~ Rupert Holmes

**Speak Softly Love** ~ Al Martino

**The Captain** ~ The Knife

**Today** ~ Junkie XL

**Cosmic Castaway** ~ Nigel Nisbet

**Welcome Home** ~ Coheed and Cambria

**This S'it Will Fcuk You Up (LP Version)** ~ Combichrist

**Mad World** ~ Gary Jules with Michael Andrews

**Beat Me Daddy, Eight To The Bar** ~ Will Bradley

**Jealous Guy** ~ John Lennon & The Plastic Ono Band

**D'Yer Mak'er** ~ Led Zeppelin

**The Rain Song** ~ Led Zeppelin

**Reproduction** ~ Soundtrack from Grease 2

**Aquarius, Let The Sunshine In** ~ 5th Dimension

**Who Wouldn't Love You** ~ Kay Kyser

**Tangerine** ~ Tommy Dorsey

**Come Fly With Me** ~ Frank Sinatra

**Re: Your Brains** ~ Jonathan Coulton

**Instant Karma!** ~ John Lennon & The Plastic Ono Band

**Stand By Me** ~ John Lennon

**Rose Tint My World** ~ Barry Bostwick

**Geeks Get The Girls** ~ American-HiFi

**Do You Feel Like We Do** ~ Peter Frampton

Yup. So, there you go. Thank you and come again!

-whatsamatta


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